Have A Better Sex Life With 7 Science-Backed Tips

Men and women, whether they’re 18 or 80, are never too old to learn new sex tips. The benefits of sex extend beyond the bedroom (reducing stress, heart disease risk, and boosting immunity), but how do you get better at sex? Shaking up things between the sheets can be easily attainable with communication and foreplay.

Work schedules, household chores, and other daily demands are barriers that make it easier to give into a subpar sex life. This keeps partners out of the bedroom, decreasing libido and the overall sexual spark in a relationship. However, mind-blowing sex doesn’t have to be complicated, but frequent and enjoyable for both partners.

Sex is essential to any happy and healthy relationship. Data from a recent General Social Survey of over 15,000 people surveyed between 1993 and 2006 found respondents who reported having sex two to three times a week were 55 percent more likely to report more happiness. This suggests an increase in the sense of well-being is associated with a greater frequency of sex.  

So give your sex life a boost for your physical and emotional well-being with these little-known sex tips:

1. Give compliments to receive better oral sex

People who better communicate and understand other’s emotions are more likely to have a satisfying sex life. A 2011 study published in the Journal of Adolescent Health found higher levels of self-esteem, autonomy, and empathy were associated with more sexual pleasure in females, while only empathy had an impact in men. Autonomy was associated with frequency of orgasm for men, while higher self-esteem was linked to the enjoyment of giving oral sex. In other words, a compliment can go a long way when it comes to sexual satisfaction.

2. Get sweaty to turn on your partner

Men can skip out on the cologne (at least in the bedroom) and sweat it out. The smell of a man’s sweat can influence the hormones of the opposite sex, leading to higher sexual arousal for women. A 2007 study published in The Journal of Neuroscience found women’s hormonal levels change due to sniffing androstadienone, a compound of male sweat. Male sweat not only sexually aroused women, it also led to physiological arousal, changed mood, and brain activation.

3. Get more sunlight to boost sex drive

Going outdoors and soaking up the sun will not only do your body good, it will also boost your sex life. The sun’s vitamin D can naturally boost a man’s libido by increasing the testosterone levels in his blood. A 2010 study published in the journal Clinical Endocrinology found men who ensure that their body has a sufficient supply of vitamin D are doing their testosterone levels and libido some good. Researchers saw testosterone levels, like vitamin D levels, peak in the summer and drop during the winter.

4. Eat more spicy food to boost testosterone levels

Men who like their food hot are more likely to like it hot in the bedroom, too. Men who have higher levels of testosterone are found to love spicy food, according to a 2014 study published in the journal Physiology & Behavior. The researchers found how much capsaicin — the chili pepper compound that makes food spicy — a man prefers is linked to social dominance, aggression, and “daring behaviors.” High testosterone levels are associated with a heightened sex drive in men.

5. Smell like pumpkin pie and lavender for sexual arousal

Men and women can skip the high-end cologne and get some pumpkin pie and lavender instead. These smells have been found to increase penile blood flow in men and sexual arousal in women, according to a 2010 independent study by the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation of Chicago. For men, pumpkin and lavender produced an arousal response in 40 percent of men while decreasing anxiety. Meanwhile, women experience the greatest increase in blood flow to the vagina when smelling Good & Plenty® (licorice) combined with the scent of cucumber. These scents are considered to be other types of aphrodisiacs that can get both men and women in the mood for sex.

6. Watch a scary movie for sexual arousal and attraction

Horror movies may not be for the faint of heart, but they can be good for low libidos. These movies can trigger the body’s sympathetic nervous system (SNS) by turning on the fight-or-flight response, and therefore, increase the body’s sexual desire. A 2011 study published in the journal Psychophysiology found increases in SNS activity was associated with higher genital arousal, while very low or extremely high SNS activity was linked to lower genital arousal. This suggests watching a moderately scary movie before sex can help women achieve sexual arousal and boost their libido.

7. Wear socks to reach an orgasm

Women and men who suffer from cold feet (in the bedroom) can rejoice that their socks do more than just keep them warm. A cool climate in the bedroom can be just as important as being sexually aroused for women. Wearing socks in the bedroom can actually lead women to achieve an orgasm compared to when they’re barefoot, according to a 2011 study from the University of Groningen in the Netherlands. At the beginning, only 50 percent of women were able to reach orgasm because they were uncomfortable since they had cold feet. However, after they were given socks, 80 percent reached orgasm.

This is attributed to the decrease in amygdala and prefrontal cortex activity — the areas of the brain responsible for anxiety, fear, and danger signals — during an orgasm. "A pleasant environment, which includes the room temperature, is an important part of making her feel safe, secure, and comfortable," said Dr. Gert Holstege, study author and chairman of the center for uroneurology at the university.

Apply these surprising secrets to your love life so you and your partner will crave sex tonight and every night.

8 Tips on How to Be Amazing in Bed: A Man’s Perspective

If you think all men love sex whether it is the boring old missionary position or doggy style, you’re right. But there are some things that make women better in bed! A man will rarely tell you when you’re awful in bed, because he’s still fulfilling his sexual needs… but according to a group of my close male friends who were more than willing to spill the beans, not all women are wonderful at sex and “it takes more than just lying on the bed with your legs splayed open” (sic).

Do you fear that you’re not pleasuring your man enough? Do you think he gets bored in bed? Are you not very sexually experienced? Are you shy? According to my male friends – you don’t need to be some kind of freaky flexible sex thing in bed and they all but wholeheartedly agreed that enthusiasm and energy trumps complicated sexual positions turning weird and wonderful tricks. The thing about sex is that it can become routine and if you don’t care, it just becomes a thing that you do! All relationships are based on give-and-take, and the same goes for sex.

Men love women who initiate sex, but in reality we rarely do. Perhaps we’re too shy, perhaps we think he’s not interested, perhaps we just can’t be bothered…but at the end of the day if you really want to get him going, you need to be unpredictable and pounce on him when he’s least expecting it! And a man who is sexually satisfied and happy in a relationship will never leave you!

So what is it that men love? Do they want you all tied up in bondage gear? Do they want you to participate in a threesome?

The answer is “no.” It’s much simpler than this.

#1 Sexual Fantasy

If your guy tells you that he has no sexual fantasy, he’s so lying. But before you get angry with the poor guy about lying, can you really blame him? Honestly, if he told you of his sexual fantasies, would you accept it? Would you do them?

He doesn’t tell you these things because he’s worried about your reaction. If you really want to know his fantasies, you’ve got to be prepared – remember they’re only fantasies and, more often than not, fantasies don’t become reality.

You asked, so you need to go in with an open mind. And if you really want to know his sexual fantasy secrets conjure up your own fantasy first and try and coax it out of him. And who knows, if they’re not too wild and aren’t going to hurt anyone, you may even get the chance to try them out.

Men love sexy dirty talk, so this is also a great way to take them by surprise and initiate sex (you don’t need to bother about getting him in the mood, he already is).

#2 They Want You to Take Control

According to my male friends and my husband, there’s nothing hotter than a woman who knows what she’s after and there are a few different ways that you can communicate this to your guy. Control means taking initiative – make the first move; it doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to whip out all the chains and handcuffs and boss them around (but if you really wanted to do this, it would be a bonus!).

Taking control in bed could simply mean pushing your man down onto the bed and taking him by surprise. Pin his arms behind him (he’s not going to refuse) and straddle him on top. All the men I’ve talked to about this agree that it’s sexy when a woman takes control of the sex position. Add a little bit more spice with some dirty talk and you’ll really get him hot under the collar.

#3 Test New Sex Positions

On the theme of taking control and initiative, men love it when you express interest in trying out new sex positions. It could be anything you imagine – sex in the Jacuzzi, sex standing up, doggy style, using sex toys… and even if these sex positions fail to work properly, men don’t care because they still find it a real turn on. When men know you want to get adventurous, there’s more excitement.

#4 Tell Your Guy What To Do

It’s not that they don’t know what to do – they know very well in fact it’s just that they want more instruction from you mostly because they love to hear you make noise when you’re being pleasured.

When he’s engaging in foreplay move his hands to where you like it and guide him slowly and when he hits the spot make sure you respond with encouraging words and moans. You’ll not only get him wanting more, you’ll also ensure better orgasms for you in the future – it’s a win-win situation.

#5 Men Want to Watch You

You’ve probably already gathered this from men’s penchant for porn, but it’s true; visual stimulation during sex and foreplay really gets a guy going. They love to watch you move and this really heats things up for both of you. Try choosing different sex positions such as the cowgirl or the reverse cowgirl so they can get a real good look at you while you’re having sex.

Mirrors also work if they’ve been strategically placed and this way they can get a first row view of all the action. If you’re really feeling brave, allow your man watch you while you play with yourself – this is going to drive him wild with passion. But whatever you do, don’t allow him to fondle or kiss you while you do so to ensure he really gets aroused and worked up. If you’re game with masturbating in front of him, it’s going to be of a big benefit to you too – he’ll see first hand what turns you on and there will be no him fumbling around in the future or disappointing foreplay.

#6 Men on your Pubic Hair

Well it’s no surprise that men are big believers in the less is more look when it comes down to your nether regions. But in saying all of this, they like change – yeah I was surprised too! Men like change a lot it would seem and it keeps them guessing so don’t just stick to one style down there. Perhaps you can do a Brazilian one day, a full wax another or a tidy triangle. According to my male buddies it keeps them intrigued… who would have thought?

#7 Be Vocal

Are you a screamer? If yes, this is great because men love hearing the moans and groans of pleasure from their partners. Not only are men visual, but they’re also very aural, and loud sex is proof enough that their partner is enjoying herself and when you’re turned on and feeling aroused, men get even more turned on.

And if you’re not into loud sex, try it! You’ll be surprised how liberated it can make you feel.

#8 Men Do Love Sexy Lingerie

Of course they do; it’s no myth. While you appreciate the material and the fine lace, he appreciates how hot you look. Sexy lingerie turns a man on like there’s no tomorrow and this could be compared to a young child ripping into their Christmas present.

Go out and treat yourself to some sexy beautiful lingerie – they’ll appreciate it – but don’t feel under duress to don it all the time because men also find simple sexy; a pair of black panties and nothing else will also suffice.

While you should never allow your man to dictate your behavior in bed, you do need to take his needs into consideration. By nature, men are very sexual creatures. They don’t expect you to do anything outrageous or strange, but a little bit of cowgirl “heehaw” now and then won’t go amiss either. Remember a healthy happy relationship is one where there’s a good sexual relationship and a lot of intimacy.

How To Orgasm Every Time: Secret Techniques To Try

Want to know how to orgasm every time? Didn’t think that was possible? It most definitely is and we will teach you how to orgasm every time you have sex!

Did you know that 20-30% of women have reported that they don’t orgasm during sex? Are you one of them? Many women in their twenties and thirties, who are healthy and able to orgasm alone, are not reaching orgasm when having sex with their partner.

Barring a health issue or just a decision not to orgasm, you should be able to climax every single time. We will teach you exactly how to orgasm every time you have sex.

How to orgasm every time? Change your thinking

Don’t worry: I’m not going to tell you to meditate your way to an orgasm. But, I do think you need to change your thinking immediately if you want to know how to orgasm every time and to achieve the maximum potential of sexual pleasure. Here are some attitudes to embrace immediately:

I should orgasm every time

No more thinking it would be awesome if you also climaxes or hoping that maybe this time you will. Do you ever doubt, when starting a sex sesh, that your guy might not climax? Nope.

Chances are that you know exactly how to get him there, how to make it take longer and the different types of orgasms he has.

He should want me to orgasm

He should want to learn how to make me orgasm. It’s important to know how to make yourself climax, but it’s also important that your guy knows how to make you orgasm.

Whether it’s from penetration, toys, oral or his hands, your guy should want you to climax and know how to get you there. If your guy doesn’t care about whether or not you climax, doesn’t ask you what works or experiment or, worse, tells you to do it yourself, you have bigger problems that the fact that you didn’t climax.

It’s not your job to get both of you off.

Best tips for learning how to orgasm every time

There are many ways women can climax, so don’t limit yourself to thinking you can only climax from toys or that you only want to climax from penetration. You can learn how to orgasm every time you have sex (believe it or not), you just have to be patient.

Orgasms can be very different depending on the type of stimulation provided, so enjoy experimenting and learning the ways and types of orgasms you’re capable of—then help your partner get you there.

Foreplay works best!

It’s not a myth: the more warmed up you are, the more likely you are to climax. The key is knowing what kind of foreplay works for you. Take time during solo play to discover the places that send an immediate pleasure signal to your brain.

Have your man slow down next time and ask him to explore your body lightly, with just his fingertips, to find these spots. Slow, light touching that switches location gets the body and brain to wonder where the next touch will be placed and can get you ready for orgasm very quickly.

Your man should avoid repeatedly rubbing the same place with his palms—it desensitizes the body and won’t rev your engine.

Nipples and hips

Once your man has spent some time with his fingertips tracing areas that get you going, make sure to direct him to your nipples and your hip bones, an oft-overlooked hotspot. These two areas will especially enjoy light touching during oral.

Don’t fight it

I had a lover who once woke up in the morning and lightly ran his finger from my heel up my legs. It was a soft touch, one given without thinking and during the conversation.

After playing around my neck and collarbone a little, he traced areas at the tops of the back of my thighs and my bottom. Before I knew what was happening I had a powerful orgasm, seemingly out of nowhere, just from his gently stroking my butt and thighs.

Had I not just laid back and allowed him to play, I would never have learned this fail-proof method that gets me to orgasm every time.

Tell him what works

While you will eventually orgasm much more easily, it’s a good idea to let your guy know what is working and what is not—and don’t be coquettish about it.

When something feels good, moan. Keep his hand there or say things like, “Oh god, don’t stop,” or whatever works for you. Men often want to switch things up to get results, but a slow, steady build is often best and the ‘don’t stop’ message is one he needs—speaking of which…

The secret to oral

First secret? Tell your man that porn is produced to look hot. Flicking his tongue like a porn star is likely not going to do anything for you. It’s better to concentrate the tip along one side of your clitoris softly and repeatedly, and then to increase pressure.

Eventually flattening and pressing the top of his tongue onto your clitoris and keeping contact while moving up and down can bring about mind-blowing orgasms because of the sustained, lubricated contact.

Tools that will help you to orgasm every time

Rather than using your vibrator on yourself after he climaxes, have him use it on your clitoris. This way, you still get the mind-blowing bliss of someone else giving you an orgasm.

While all orgasms feel good, there is something particularly delicious about lying there and having someone else get you off.

He should use one hand to play with you, stroke you and apply pressure from below your belly button down to your pelvic bone—your g-spot is basically the root of your clitoris, so this extra external pressure can bring you to some pretty sublime heights.

Straighten your legs

Porn, again, is made to look good on screen—and it does—but a great trick to orgasming doesn’t make it into the movies. With you on top and his legs open slightly, lie on top, insert him and straighten your legs.

With the extra contact between your pelvic bones and bellies, you will be stimulated more completely and give your g-spot more attention.

Resting on your forearms as if you were planking and moving up and down his body (i.e. rocking from the head of the bed toward the foot rather than an up and down motion with him staying more inside of you) is an almost foolproof way to orgasm.

Ladies first

It is often the guy who orgasms quicker, but just as foreplay works for you, it works for him. Get into the habit of foreplay, you getting off and then returning the favor so that he’s not too tired to reciprocate afterward.

Women generally still feel amorous after an orgasm, so this is a great time for you to take over and devote time and attention to his body and needs.

At the end of the day, the more practice time you get in, both solo and with your partner, and the more orgasms you have, the more you’ll learn about what works and how to increase the amount your orgasms (and potentially learn how to orgasm every time you have sex).

Don’t be afraid to talk to your man about things you want to try, thank him for being a good sport and reward him with those things you know he loves.

What works for you? Which of these are you most excited to try? Try it and let’s have some juicy girl talk. Let’s continue the convo in the comments.

10 Fascinating Facts About The Female Orgasm

The female orgasm is a part of human evolution that we simply haven’t been able to wrap our heads around. It flies in the face of all evolutionary theories for sex we currently have, and no matter how much we’ve tried figuring it out, any decisive explanation as to why it exists still eludes us.^[1]

Since it’s such a misunderstood part of the human experience, there are many things you might not know about the female orgasm. Even now, we consistently find surprising results during studies on the subject, further deepening the air of mystery around it. Here are ten such surprises.

10 Women Orgasm In Their Sleep

Wet dreams, or orgasms while sleeping, among men have been extensively discussed in both scientific circles and high school congregations. We know that they occur mostly during adolescence, and other than some unfortunate exceptions, guys tend to stop having them by their mid- to late twenties. There’s nothing particularly surprising about them, except for the first time one wakes up drenched in what is definitely not sweat.

Women having orgasms while sleeping, however, is much less understood and documented. According to studies, around 37 percent of women will experience at least one sleeping orgasm by the age of 45. Unlike men, their frequency increases with age, and it’s not a puberty thing, either.

The interesting part is that sleeping orgasms among women aren’t dependent on any other factors. For the women who experience them, it happens regardless of whether they’re single or married or how sexually active they are.^[2]

9 Women With Prominent Upper Lips Orgasm More Often

Women tend to orgasm less frequently than men, and the reasons for that aren’t really known. It doesn’t depend on factors like libido or sexual history, and it’s consistent among all cultures and races around the world. While it will be some time before we can solve that one, scientists have found a surprising factor that may influence the likelihood of orgasm among women: the shape of their lips.

In a study, a number of Scottish women were asked about their history of orgasms from intercourse, and the researchers cross-checked that with the shape of their lips. While we don’t know where they get these ideas for scientific studies from, they did find a surprising correlation between the shape of the upper lip and the likelihood of having an orgasm. Women with more pronounced tubercles (the central, round part of the upper lip) were more likely to orgasm from vaginal penetration.^[3]

8 It Affects The Brain Region Responsible For Addiction

One of the primary reasons we don’t understand the female orgasm is the difficulty of studying it in laboratory conditions. Because men can orgasm far more easily than women, it’s easier for them to do so during research, but the same can’t be said for women.

In some of the studies that have been successfully conducted, though, scientists have found surprising connections between orgasms and various regions of the brain. While we don’t need scientific research to know that an orgasm affects the brain in a way that few other things do, the effects are far more intense in women than men, affecting seemingly unrelated parts of the brain.

As one study found, one of those parts is the nucleus accumbens, which deals with reward.^[4] This region plays a major role in addiction to things like gambling and drugs.

7 It’s Not Always Physically Noticeable (And We Don’t Know Why)

Popular fiction portrays the female orgasm as visibly shattering and all-consuming, with noticeable physical signs you can’t miss. We’re not saying it never happens like that—as that would defy observed evidence in real life—but it certainly doesn’t always happen that way. In many instances, it can be difficult to tell if a woman has orgasmed at all, and not just for their partners. Some women aren’t very good at identifying an orgasm when they have one.

According to research by a neuroscientist, many women report having orgasms without any noticeable contractions or violent shaking of the limbs like we’d generally expect, and science doesn’t know why. It may be because women aren’t often good at differentiating an orgasm from other peak times of pleasure during a sexual encounter, according to the neuroscientist, at least.^[5]

6 It Works As A Painkiller

We may not be any closer to completely understanding the purpose of the female orgasm, but in all the research we’ve done on it, it’s clear that it has a special connection with the brain. We’re constantly finding new neural pathways between the female sexual organs and different parts of the brain that shouldn’t be connected at all, and a few of them are quite surprising.

Take the research on the connection between the female orgasm and pain threshold. At first, researchers studied it on rats and found that the rats simply did not feel any pain during vaginal stimulation. The pain-blocking effect was curiously similar to the administration of morphine, which prompted scientists to study it on humans. In a subsequent study of women, they found the same results: Vaginal stimulation almost doubled women’s ability to take pain. Orgasms more than doubled it.^[6]

5 The Inability To Orgasm May Be Genetic

We know for a fact that many women aren’t able to orgasm no matter what they do, and it’s not because of any inadequacy on their partner’s part. According to science, around ten to 15 percent of women have anorgasmia, which may sound like a disease but is actually just a fancy word for the inability to orgasm despite their best efforts.

It may sound dysfunctional, but research says that anorgasmia makes perfect evolutionary sense. Studies suggest a definite link between the inability to have an orgasm and genetics, and according to researchers, it’s because those women are evolutionarily choosy about who to orgasm with. In simpler terms, the bodies of some women are designed to not orgasm unless it’s with someone ideal to have a baby with. Looking at how difficult it is to find the perfect partner (at least perfect enough to convince the body), that may explain why so many women never or rarely have orgasms.^[7]

4 Women With No Pelvic Function Can Orgasm, Too

It has been a long-standing theory that the orgasm doesn’t have anything to do with the genitals at all. Sure, they act as the organs and nerve endings that require the stimulation to achieve it, but the actual climax happens only in the brain, according to the theory at least. While it will be quite some time before we can confirm that or rule it out, some evidence from people suffering from spinal cord injuries (SCI) does give credence to it.

According to research, women with absolutely no nerve function in their pelvic area due to neurological injuries are still able to orgasm.^[8] More surprisingly, it feels the same as how it did before the injury, and it doesn’t depend on the extent of the injury, either. They did find that among the women studied, the ones who had a higher sex drive and greater sexual awareness were more likely to orgasm, though that seems to be generally true among women without SCI, too.

3 Women Are More Likely To Orgasm With Symmetrical Men

Unlike men, who rarely have any problems achieving orgasm during sexual encounters, women experience them less frequently. There are many theories as to why that may be, though according to one study, it’s because most men simply aren’t symmetrical enough.

In the study, they asked 86 couples about their climaxing frequencies. While it was predictable for the men, who orgasmed nearly 100 percent of the time as expected, for women, the frequency was much higher when their partner was symmetrical.^[9] We’re not just talking about the face, either, but overall symmetry.

It may sound surprising, but body symmetry is inherently related to the quality of the genes. It’s not just about attractiveness but also physical and psychological health. It suggests that the female orgasm may be a mate-selection mechanism, but then again, that’s only one of the many theories on why it exists.

2 It’s Rarely Due To Intercourse

Women’s ability—or lack thereof—to orgasm is often thought of as a verdict on the sexual prowess of their partners during intercourse. The partner’s skill in bed can certainly be a factor, but it’s a bit more complicated than that.

The female orgasm has almost nothing to do with the penetration part of sex. Only 25 percent of women who have orgasms can consistently do so from intercourse alone, and the rest require other things, like sex toys or oral stimulation, to achieve it. It’s also independent of external factors like the size of the penis, attractiveness of the partner, or stress.

It’s not just one study indicating this, either; one author went through 33 studies over the past 80 years to come to this conclusion.^[10] So, if you’re a man who cannot get your female partner climax through intercourse, you shouldn’t take it personally and just try other things out.

1 It May Be A Way To Retain More Sperm

One of the reasons female orgasm is so mysterious is that it appears to serve no evolutionary purpose at all. Unlike men, it doesn’t do anything for the actual reproduction process. Because of its relative infrequency compared to the male orgasm and lack of dependence on penetration, it isn’t a reliable indicator for sexual satisfaction, either.

While there are many theories on why it exists, one of them makes more sense than the others. According to some scientists, the contractions during an orgasm help the female retain as much sperm as she can, increasing the chances of fertilization. It’s backed by some research, too. In one study, researchers asked some women to collect the fluid ejected from the vagina after sex. They found that among the women who had just orgasmed, the ejected content had a lower amount of sperm than the others.