Pregnancy has its consequences. While the end result of your pregnancy can be extremely rewarding (i.e. the baby) it can definitely come with some not so fun consequences. First of all, childbirth is typically not enjoyable, but even after childbirth, your body and mind can remain affected. Postpartum depression is a reality for some, not for all, but it's completely normal to not be completely back to functioning post-birth. Your body needs a bit of time to recuperate. You've got to heal a bit.
Low sex drive. It is very common for women to have a lower sex drive after they've given birth. There can be a lot of factors that go into reducing your libido post-childbirth. For one, your body just went through a major trauma. The relationship that you have prior to giving birth will be completely different now that the baby has arrived. Your body is this amazing vessel that has created life. And your sex life will understandably be lower, but not for too long.
Your mind is elsewhere. All of your mental focus could be going to your baby, which is totally natural for a new mom. Sex could have dropped in your priority's list since giving birth. It won't be like this forever, but right now you have a new role to get used to.
You're exhausted. Every parent knows that babies are exhausting. They keep you up at odd hours (and all hours) of the night and they cry and they need you constantly. This doesn't just go for moms, either. Dad's may have a reduced sex drive during this time because they're so exhausted, too!
Dry as a desert. A woman's hormones are notorious for changing all of the time, especially around the time of pregnancy and childbirth. Even after you've had the baby, your hormones are still shifting. This can cause vaginal dryness which can make getting ready for sex difficult, painful, and awkward. Talk about a buzzkill.
Get some lube. Fortunately for you, there is a wonderful product out there called lube! If you want to have sex with your partner but you're too dry down there, get a natural-based lubricant to assist you. It could be the solution to your problems! Also be quite careful with yourself. Ease in to having sex again. Don't just hop back on the horse! Your dryness may be an indication that your body isn't quite ready to hop back in the saddle.
Have him do oral. Another way to naturally lubricate without having to go out and buy a bottle of lube is to have him go down on you. That way, he'll provide all the wetness you both need and you'll get to engage in a sexual activity that's not just about vaginal penetration. It could be a good start to getting your sex life back on track.
Your mood is suffering. Remember how we mentioned hormonal shifts? This doesn't just affect the climate of your vagina, it affects your mood, too. You may be experiencing mood changes that are unsettling you to the point where it's lowering your sex drive. Don't worry. It's normal.
Postpartum depression. Sometimes after you have a baby, your mood shifts can be so severe that it can result in postpartum depression. Many mothers go through this. Mental Health America estimates about 20% of new mothers experience postpartum. So you're not alone! Let your partner and your family know what's going on with you and talk to a doctor.
Vaginal tearing. File this under "reasons giving birth is a form of cruel and unusual punishment." During childbirth, when you're, you know, pushing a small human out of your vagina, there is a good possibility that you may tear. Many women opt to be cut by their doctor down there before they tear during childbirth, to ease the process. Either way, it's not a good time.
Surgery. Vaginal tearing can leave you in pain and feeling sore for several days after your birthing experience. When the vagina does tear during childbirth, the surgeon must stitch it back up. Recovering from this takes some time and the healing process can be uncomfortable. Who would be in the mood for sex when they've got all that going on?
Pelvic floor exercises. It is recommended that a woman does pelvic floor exercises (i.e. Kegel tightening exercises) to get that area sex ready again. That whole region just went through a lot and it's probably loose. Pelvic floor exercises can help tighten you up again to make sex more pleasurable.
It'll return in time. Just remember that your sex drive and your ability to enjoy sex will return in time. It might be disconcerting at first because it's something you've never gone through before, but you'll recover. Don't make yourself feel badly because you're not exactly where you want to be yet.
Your mood should elevate eventually. Just as your hormones have been shifting, they will hopefully settle themselves again. Within a few weeks after giving birth, you should notice your mood begin to change for the better. If you don't, be sure to let the people around you know.
Your sex life will come back. Sex is a two-way street. Both you and your partner have some adjusting to do now that baby has arrived on the scene. The less pressure you put on it, the better. Things will naturally resolve in time and your sex life will come back. It may be different now that you have a little one to worry about, but you'll be able to get romantic and reach orgasm once again!
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