Sexual Narcissism: What Is It And Do You Have It?

There are narcissists all over this fine planet, and they don't make the best company.  So, it's no wonder that you wouldn't want one in the bedroom — even though this is sometimes unavoidable.  We never really know someone's true colors until they're naked and in bed with us.  So, this brings us to sexual narcissism.  Is it real?  Might it be plaguing the world?  Should you be worried?  These are fair questions, and it's time you know for sure.  Keep reading to find out what sexual narcissism is and whether or not you may have it.

You damn (possible) narcissist. You may think you’re chill, but let’s be real — that may be all in your head. Especially when it comes to having sex, some people are so far gone that they believe that they are the end-all be-all of sexual pleasure. This is the sexual narcissist. This is the person who thinks that, when it comes to sex, nothing compares to them, according to Psychology Today.

Physical lovemaking. When you’re having sex with someone, there’s obviously going to be a physical connection. But sex — good sex, at least — should be so much deeper than that. You should be able to lose yourself in someone. For the sexual narcissist, this will almost never the case.

Not enough emotion. The sexual narcissist isn’t concerned with what you’re feeling emotionally when you’re having sex, just how good they feel on physical level. Sex doesn’t require emotion, in their eyes, and the fact that it’s called “making love” doesn’t have much of an impact on them.

Hidden insecurity. So, why do sh*tty people do the sh*tty things they do? For the most part — they’re insecure. That’s how the sexual narcissist rolls. He may think he’s the bee’s knees, when in reality, he’s got a such a poor self image that it’s transformed into a confident monster.

Sh*tting on people (but not literally). If you’re dating this person, then don’t be surprised when he starts picking on you. Even if it’s done in mild and sarcastic ways, this is someone who gains pleasure from beating people down and making them seem as though they are lower than themselves. It’s an obvious sign of weakness.

Not getting what you want. When people get rejected, they’ll likely be bummed for a moment, but then they’ll move on. For the sexual narcissist, this is someone who assumes that he’s owed everything that he wants, so when he doesn’t get it, he lashes out. Instead of just taking a loss, he’ll never shut up about it.

Throwing tantrums. At first, you might assume that this sexual narcissist is sexy and confident, but once you see their true colors, you realize that they’re just giant babies. Don’t be surprised when the sexual narcissist just breaks down in an adult tantrum. Also, maybe run away before you get too attached.

Major, super focus. When you’re with someone who is a sexual narcissist, it’s clear enough from the get go that they’re going to enjoy having as much attention focused on themselves as possible. At first, you might confuse this for confidence, but you’ll eventually notice it for what it is. This person just wants to prove how great he is.

“Look how great I just sexed you!” If you’re with this person long enough, you’ll finally see the truth: that this person just wants to have sex to highlight their own skills. They’re not having sex with you, you’re getting the chance to have sex with them, in their eyes, and they’re going to expect you to tell them how amazing they are.

Momentarily charismatic. At first glance, a sexual narcissist seems like a great person to be around, but then you get to know them… Honestly, they’re quite skilled at winning people over, and their abilities seem effortless. Sadly, however, this is just a passing trait.

Just using you with gifts. Eventually, you’ll start to notice that this person is just using you for their own benefit. They want sex, and they know exactly how to control a situation in order to get it. Their technique just happens to seem smooth, even though it’s much closer to manipulation.

You are now a sex slave. If you have sex with sexual narcissist, be careful because you’re not an equal partner in their eyes. You’re an accessory to their sex life, and they’ll expect you to do as they please — even if they don’t seem overtly controlling. If you play close enough attention, you’ll realize exactly how you fit into this “relationship.”

Beck and call. Booty calls are fine, depending on how they’re treated. If he’s just calling you for sex, but giving you absolutely nothing in return (assuming you two didn’t make some sort of agreement beforehand), then you may very well be dealing with a sexual narcissist.

Post-sex, piss off. There’s an unspoken rule that after you have sex, you cuddle. This is someone that you care about, so after you’ve both had your fun, enjoy spending the moment of relaxation afterwards together. However, the people who don’t follow this rule? Sexual narcissists.

Unfaithful. Seeing as the sexual narcissist is someone who thinks that they are basically professional sex-givers, they’ll want to plant their seed wherever they can, so to speak. So, yeah, you’ve got yourself an unfaithful S.O.B. who only thinks he’s good at what he does.