Things To Know About Having Sex During The Breastfeeding Stage

Being a new mom means that you are going to have to learn how to balance it all - career, babies, and of course, your sex life. While many people might warn you about sex after pregnancy taking a while, not many people actually give you the full details about what sex is like, what things you should know about, and how to handle it all. If this is your first pregnancy, don’t worry. We’ve got all the answers you want to the questions you’re afraid to ask - at least when it comes to having sex during the early breastfeeding stages of parenthood.

It’s Totally Normal To Not Have Sex, Even After The Six Week Window. Yes, we know, doctors tell you that you can bang after six weeks postpartum, but let’s be real, that doesn’t always happen. In fact, some new moms take at least six months before they even try to have sex with their partners again. Take your time if you need to - no one should expect you to try to rush into it. Also, if you have sex before the six weeks, don’t freak out. Just do what feels right and listen to your body.

You Will Squirt Milk At Your Man, And Sex Will Get Messy. Sorry, it’s true. There will be moments where, during a quickie, you might end up accidentally squirting some breastmilk in your man’s eye. You will also likely spot during sex. We suggest keeping a lactation bra on and placing a towel below you.

Breastfeeding Can Be Kinky. Some women actually really begin to fetishize breastfeeding their partners while they’re having sex. If you feel like you want to explore this side of sex, ask your partner. Most men are a lot less negative about breastfeeding sex than you’d think.

It’s 100% Okay To Swat Your Man Away From You During This Stage. We are not going to judge, we swear! Your breasts are likely sore from nursing. You are sore from being a new mom. You’re tired. And you know what? That means that you are 100%, completely and totally entitled to giving your boobs a break - no matter how much he whines.

Quickies Will Be Your Thing. Now that you have a screaming newborn, you will need to prioritize things such as sleep and making sure your kid doesn’t die. Quickies are how you will have any semblance of a sex life for the next year or so.

Your Vagina May Be A Bit Dryer During The Breastfeeding Stage. Remember those hormones we keep mentioning? Well, part of the problem with all the hormone fluctuations is that it can dry you out below the belt. This is easily remedied, though, because there’s this awesome thing called lube.

You May Be Loose Down There During This Time, But Don’t Sweat It. In the first 6 months of breastfeeding time, you are actually still healing down there. Depending on how much damage you were dealt during childbirth, it can take years for you to fully recover. But, that’s the cool thing about our bodies. Women do bounce back from childbirth - it just takes time to get back to that regular tightness.

And You’ll Learn To Accept Yourself. Everyone’s body changes, and this is just a fact of life. And then you’ll realize that, holy cow, you just created a tiny human and are actually keeping it from dying. And then you’ll embrace the awesome she-beast you are, in all her primal awesomeness.

But Some Women Feel Arousal During Breastfeeding, Too. To further confuse our minds, good ol’ Mother Nature has made sure that a portion of women get mildly aroused during breastfeeding. It most likely is because of the whole breast stimulation part of breastfeeding, but the sensation can vary from person to person.

Apparently, Some Women Even Have Sex While They Breastfeed. Uh, yeah. We’re not sure that’s okay, but that’s apparently a thing. One woman on Babble actually admitted, “The answer? You do what you have to do. I've nursed babies on airplanes, in airports, in countless parked cars, in restaurants, buses, trains and every sort of conveyance, while sitting, standing, walking, and lying down, and having sex (not all at the same time). And if you've breastfed, chances are you have, too, because the babies? They don't seem to care, not as long as there's a nipple involved. But what about that extra mile, those extra lengths some moms go to?”

Oh, And Your Man Will Probably Want To Breastfeed, Too. For reasons beyond our understanding, a lot of guys really get into the idea of trying out some milk from the mother of their children. Some even develop a fetish for it and try to keep it going after the actual breastfeeding period is done.

You Will Feel Gross. No lie, your body will change after a baby. And you will not like some of those changes. And, your baby may cover you in spit up and pee. And you will feel gross about having sex, because you simply will not be feeling how your body looks, feels, and smells. We’re sorry. This will pass.

That Being Said, Breastfeeding Can Be Used As A Form Of Contraception. Because it tends to elevate hormones that naturally prevent pregnancy, many women use breastfeeding as a form of birth control in the first six months. It’s called the Lactational Amenorrhoea Method, and it basically prevents you from having a period for six months. It’s considered to be 98% effective.

Breastfeeding Can Lower Your Libido. This is a side effect of all the hormones that are going crazy in your body right now. Many women, after they have given birth, can’t get in the mood at all. Simply put, their hormones get out of whack and things just aren’t exactly very hot. Breastfeeding doesn’t help it, either.

But, LAM Can Fail. The reason why LAM can fail is because missing one single feed off your schedule can negate it and make your hormones crash down to normal. If you can have your period, you can have kids. If you don’t know you can have your period, then it’s very possible to have unprotected sex and get pregnant again. And that’s how you get Irish twins!