The 5 Main Reasons Couples Stop Having Sex

Sex should be a major staple in relationships, but that's unfortunately not always the case. Sometimes the steam just dies away and couples just stop having sex altogether. By no means is this something anyone is happy about, but it happens all the same. In fact, it's kind of a double-edged sword. If a relationship isn't working out, then the sex is likely to suffer, and if sex has stopped completely in a relationship, then the relationship just isn't going to work out. Couples can give you a million reasons why they're not having sex, but in this case, there'll only be 5. Keep reading to find out the 5 main reasons couples stop having sex.

The past comes back to haunt you. One of the biggest reasons couples have trouble maintaining their sex lives is because their past starts to eat away at them. It affects them in such a way that it becomes almost impossible to maintain sexual relationship, let alone sexual relationships, with anyone.

The scary past. Brian Willoughby is an assistant professor at Brigham Young University's School of Family Life, and he explains via Men's Health that some people are so terrified about making sure the future is better than their past, that they end up ruining their chances through their own anxieties.

The value of expectations. The stress of expectations can eat away at someone so significantly, that it can potentially damage relationships and their sex lives. Due to their past insecurities, they become "terrified about making a mistake."

The problem with kids. When you have kids, there's a good chance your sex life — and your sex drive — is going to drop pretty significantly. The most obvious reason is that children are just so high maintenance that giving anything else genuine attention can be nearly impossible.

Surveying sex lives. According to a study from Edward Laumann, a sociologist from the University of Chicago, a large group of women were surveyed about their sex lives. Of those women who didn't have kids, 34 percent of them claimed to not have a strong desire for sex, while those with kids rounded out closer to 95 percent.

Sex + Stress. When you're working your balls off, you tend to not care much about putting your balls to work (for the men, obviously).

Stress plays a major role in keeping sex out of relationships. Though it may not affect a couple until later on in their relationship, there's a really good chance it'll happen eventually.

On the clock. Love can still be in the air, but when stress becomes too overpowering, sex doesn't stand a chance. Isadora Alman is a sex therapist who says that all of the work involved in preparing for sex just might not seem worth it for everything else that the couple needs to get done. They're too tired out.

The easy way out. Despite being stressed, sexual drives can still very much be working. However, couples may sadly resort to masturbating alone just to "get the job done," so to speak. The drive is there, but the intimacy dies underneath the heavy workloads and stress.

The better one. What can really hurt a sex life is when couples make comparisons between each other, and then feed off the negativity that stems from it. You may fight the urge for sex because you think something is wrong, but really what's wrong is what you're conjuring up in your own head.

Worrying about others. It's pretty clear that if you want to find happiness, you need only look within. But that's not always as easy as it seems. The wild sex life of your friends may ruin your confidence in your own sex life, which in turn may only affect in such a way that you end up having even less sex, according to Alman.

The grass is greener. Alman is worried that too many couples are spending so much time worrying about other people's sex lives that they're forgetting about their own. Worst of all, they're letting it ruin them. "No, not everyone is having better sex than you are," she says. "No, not everyone has a bigger penis. People can be really adept at making themselves unnecessarily miserable.”

"You've lost — that lovin' feeling." Sometimes a couple's sex life can take a dip due to the obvious reason that the couples just aren't feeling the same way towards each other as they used to. It's sad, but it happens. But it's those who neglect seeing a couple's therapist who rarely see better results.

The old college try. Some couples try maintaining their happiness without ever considering that they either need help or need to change their lives around, and the happiness never returns. “Focusing on creating pleasurable experiences," says Tamar Krishnamurti, Ph.D., "may allow an increase in sexual intercourse frequency to happen more naturally.”

Overcoming the struggles. If a couple is having major issues with rekindling their sexual flame, they should consider approaching it with less intensity. Something as simple as cuddling or kissing can help jumpstart the intimacy, according to Alman, so it's at least worth starting small.