This Bananas New Sex Toy Basically Guarantees Every Kind Of Orgasm

One vibrator to rule them all.
As a sex writer, I get a lot of sex toys sent my way. Each one is definitely unique and has something special to offer, but never before have I run into a vibrator that’s the whole kit and caboodle, as my mom would say, until I met Je Joue’s Ooh.
It is indeed, ooh la la, if I do say so myself.
Ooh came to me by way of Fab.com and is basically a build-your-own vibrator with its motor and three components. Each component offers a different sensation and different experience for you and your partner.
That’s right; your partner, too, can get in on the fun, since one of the components is a vibrating cock ring.
The other two components are Je Joue’s Classic Vibrator (awesome for both G-spot and clitoral orgasm) and Vibrating Pebble (clit stimulation at its best), both of which, are just as colorful, sleek, and modern in appearance (and to the touch!), as the cock ring.

And because these components are sold separately, you get to mix things up a bit with color and pleasure accessory preference, because, let’s be honest, these aren’t just your regular vibrators, but actual pleasure accessories that take the concept of a vibrator and cock ring up a few notches.
In addition to the modular innovation of it all, Je Joue’s Ooh is rechargeable (so no worry about running out of batteries) and made of 100 percent body-safe silicone (so it’s easy to clean and feels fantastic on and in your body).

Plus, it's waterproof (so you can take it in the tub or shower), has three speeds that include two patterns and is nice and quiet for those holidays at mom and dad’s where you just need 10 minutes to yourself.
Despite all this, Ooh is pretty reasonably priced for everything it has to offer.
The mix-and-match nature of the product, or “pick-and-mix” as Ooh calls it, saves you money in that you don’t need to buy a whole new toy every time you want to try something new. And even then, they’re priced better than other toys of comparable quality.

The most expensive part of the Ooh is the motor that will set you back a wee $50, but considering the fact that it’s rechargeable and so high in quality, that’s not bad at all. Next up are the components that will run you $40 for the Classic Vibrator, and $25 for the Vibrating Pebble and cock ring each.

You can either mix and match the components to your liking, or buy them in sets with cutesy names like “What Happens in Vegas Set,” the “London love-in” and “Her name is Rio.”
And for those of you who enjoy some anal fun the mini vibrating butt plug and a smaller and less expensive motor will be available early next year.
If you’re ready to never leave your room again, because you’ve found the vibrator that’s put an end to your vibrator searches, then head over to the exclusive Fab.com launch and pick up your very own Ooh by Je Joue.

Study Says Men Produce Waaaay More Semen When They Watch THIS

Who knew?!
Which President of the United States had a sexual behavior named after him? Nope, not President Clinton, nor was it President Bush, and it certainly wasn't President Reagan. If you guessed President Calvin Coolidge (and if you did are you some kind of trivia genius?), then you're correct.
The Coolidge Effect was named after him. According to Wikipedia, the Coolidge Effect is a phenomenon seen in mammalian species whereby males (and to a lesser extent females) exhibit renewed sexual interest if introduced to new receptive sexual partners, even after sex with prior but still available sexual partners.
The evolutionary benefit to this phenomenon is that a male can fertilize multiple females. The male may be reinvigorated repeatedly for successful insemination of multiple females.

You may be wondering how this phenomenon came to be named after the 30th President of the United States.
The story goes that one day the President and the first lady were being shown around an experimental government farm. At some point in the tour, President Coolidge and his wife were separated.
Mrs. Coolidge was being shown the chicken coop and all of its inhabitants. She noticed that a rooster was going at it with a hen as if it had swallowed up a whole bunch of Viagra in its feed.
"How often does he do that?" she asked one of the farm workers.
"Dozens of times each day," was the response.
"Tell that to the President when he comes by," said the first lady.
Upon being told, the President asked, "Same hen every time?"
"Oh, no, Mr. President, a different hen every time," was the response of his farm-escort.

President Coolidge said, "Tell that to Mrs. Coolidge."
And scene. Oh, that hilarious comedy duo — the President and his missus! The Coolidge Effect is still relevant today.
A recent study by Paul Joseph of the University of Florida set out to see if the Coolidge Effect has influenced biology as well as behavior. For the study, 21 men reported to the lab every two or three days. While there, the men were put into a private room to watch a porno clip and masturbate into a jar.
Each time the men visited the lab, they saw a different clip. The first six times, it featured the same female performer, but then on the man's seventh visit, he got to see a clip with a different female adult star.

Joseph analyzed the quality of the participants' semen and found that there was no change in movement, concentration, and volume over the first six sessions (when the performer was the same). But when the men watched the new performer, they produced more semen, more moving around sperm, and they orgasmed faster.
The study summed it up in this way: "Our results suggest that men experience increased arousal and invest more in ejaculates with novel females."
So, seeing a potential new sex partner (even if it's only in their imagination) produces more semen for men. Men need new stimulation because that's how they're made — their body is telling them this through quantity and quality of their ejaculate.
In other words, if you're in charge of the porn at home, keep it fresh.

11 Sex Myths That Are Total Bullsh*t, TBH

It's time for some truth bombs.
By Zahra Barnes
There IS a point to sex without an orgasm. Promise.
1. The vaginal orgasm is a sure thing for all women everywhere.
False. If you can get off from penetration, that’s awesome! Your body deserves a gold star, because it can do a pretty cool thing. But plenty of women can’t orgasm from penetration, according to Brown University’s health department (and probably some of your friends, or maybe even you).
If direct clitoral stimulation is the only way for you to have an orgasm, that’s perfectly OK.
2. PIV is the end-all, be-all of sex.
While intercourse is great, there are tons of other sexual frontiers to explore. Plus, not everyone has the equipment necessary for penis-in-vagina sex, and that doesn’t mean the sex they enjoy is any less magical. 

3. What even is the point of sex without an orgasm?
Orgasms must be the universe’s compensation for dealing with things like rush hour traffic and restaurants that charge a $20 delivery fee even if all you want is an $8 burrito.
But there can be so much more to sex than orgasms! Like intimacy, laughter, and the awesomeness of learning what does and doesn’t work for your body.
4. You can’t be an empowered woman and like kinky sex.
Nope, not true. Sexual fantasies run the gamut, and sometimes they’re so exciting precisely because they’re taboo or seem to go against who you are in day-to-day life.
As long as you’re not hurting anyone, it’s fine to like what you like. You contain multitudes, right?
5. Sex is over when the other person finishes.

You might have been with people who believed this unfortunate falsehood, or even bought into it yourself. The truth is that both people should end each session satisfied, and what that means can change from day to day.
Sometimes maybe all you want is to be close to another person, so you don’t need an orgasm to feel like the sex was a success. Other days, you might have your eye on the orgasm prize, and your partner should be ready and willing to help you get there. 

6. Every orgasm needs to be an earth-shattering experience.
Sometimes they are. Other times, they’re weird little blips that feel like an interrupted sneeze.

7. Butts are off limits.
There can be a stigma around exploring someone’s butt, especially if that someone happens to be a dude. Thing is, the anus is packed with nerve endings that might make your and your partners’ brains explode in a good way.
That’s not to say you should do some back-door spelunking without your partner’s permission. Enthusiastic consent: it’s a thing!
8. Actually, rumor has it that anal is always insanely painful for women.
If you go very slowly and come prepared with enough lube to theoretically turn the bed into a slip and slide, you might enjoy yourself.

9. If you’re not having as much sex as your friends, just give up. You’ve already lost.
People have different sex drives, especially at different stages their relationships. Also, people lie. Not to say your friends definitely are, but embellishment happens. Just something to keep in mind.
10. Your body needs to be perfect to have lights-on sex.
Insecurity shouldn’t get in the way of pursuing maximum sexual pleasure.
It doesn’t matter what “flaws”—aka qualities most people have—you’re dealing with, like cellulite or hairs that sprout in random places. The point of having sex with the lights on is to see each other in all your imperfect, human glory, and revel in the fact that you’re both still turned on as hell.

11. Sex should be exactly how it is in movies.
Nah. Real-life sex can involve startling noises, moves that do nothing for either of you, and other elements that wouldn’t fit into a Hollywood sex scene.
And really, it’s fine that it’s not all seamlessly switching positions and shoving innocent items off desks so you can have your way with each other. Someone has to clean that up, you know.

This article was originally published at Self. Reprinted with permission from the author.

Dear Men: 5 Damn Good Reasons To Quit Your Day Job And Write Erotica

Looking to catch her eye? Choose your words wisely.
Recently I received this question from one of my readers:
"Dear Angel,
I haven't had a 'date' in over 25 years. All my "dates" have been, you know, ladies I've met in a bar or club or party and there is about an hour of talking. By that time, you figure if you're gonna "score" or not and stick with or move on. Sorry for the straight talk. How can I get women to want to cyber with me?"
With that said, there is some real magic in cyber. Words are hot and erotic when spun properly, but if you come on too strong or too fast, women will delete you like an ex from their phone.
Learn what turns a lady on and write about it, and you will have much better success. When women play a character in a story instead of themselves, they actually enjoy it more because it's less personal — less like lovers and more like entertainment; inhibitions come down.

If you enjoy cyber, you should think about writing erotica. Not just raw and naked though, learn to spin a tale. Use the words like a velvet glove and coax that lady out of her shell. Many women are curious and potentially great sex buddies, they just need the proper encouragement.
"But what about me?" wail the men. Suck it up dude. There's nothing hotter and more eager to please than a sexed to the max woman. Most women don't know how to get themselves off, much less you. Once you start flipping the switch and women ride to super orgasms because of your story, you will get plenty in return — promise.
There's only one final key to success in winning a cyber woman's affections. Both parties — women and men — are totally responsible for their own orgasm. Solo sex is the ultimate goal in cybersex. When you're writing to your partner, reading last night's episode or like me, actually writing erotica while orgasming (wait, is that a verb?), you must be in charge of yourself. She is not supposed to make you cum, and you are not supposed to make her cum. The stories, when done well, turn you on full steam. Whether it's with hands or toys, take matters into your own hands and orgasm your little heart out. When you do this, I promise you women will say "yes to you again and again. Yes. Yes. Yes. Lovely, isn't it?

Here are the best five reasons to start writing litrotica ...  like yesterday.

1. You may become a better cyber lover (which = more lovin').
If you are serious about turning women on and learn how to use words to do so, women might just be a bit more open with you online.
2. Women think it's very sexy.
Men get a bad rap, and most women think they're clueless when it comes to what turns them on. You can prove them wrong.
3. Writing erotica will make you hard.
It's good exercise for your sex muscles and if you're smart, you won't waste a hard on. More sex for you.
4. You will be more confident in the bedroom.
Once women start to write to you and you start collecting an audience, they will tell you what they like and don't like in your writing. Sometimes it is hard to read and accept, but if you listen to the ladies, it will pay off big time.

5. Your erotic stories may make you some money.
There are thousands of websites that feature erotica and some of them make it possible for your articles to earn you money. You can check out AngelSaysYes.com to see an example of what is available out there.

5 Reasons To Try Bondage TONIGHT For The Most Orgasmic Sex Ever

Welcome to the world of bondage.
Have you ever fantasized about erotic bondage? Imagined yourself being lovingly tied up and then ravished? If so, you aren't alone. Bondage is one of the most common sexual fantasies for both men and women alike, and with good reason. Bondage is risky, dangerous, and really sexy.
You can enjoy all the thrills of more daring sex while minimizing the risk to your body and your relationship. If you follow this advice, you can have exciting erotic adventures without all the risk. The same goes for bondage: you can easily enjoy the thrills of erotic bondage without going to extremes.
Here are the basics of bondage you need to know.
1. Being tied up can make you feel incredibly free.
Many people crave the release of being restrained, with nowhere to go and nothing to do other than receive their lover's touch. Once you're cuffed, your mind can turn off and all of your focus turns to the sensations in your body.

If you're stressed out, tense and overburdened, the escape of a few hours as an erotic captive can be sweet release. Pair bondage with the physical intensity of erotic spanking, and you have a recipe for profound relaxation and tremendous pleasure.

2. Bondage goes way beyond just handcuffs.
Unless you get really turned on by playing cops and robbers, handcuffs aren't the best choice for bondage. There are excellent options for bondage that offer safe, sensual restraints. Explore leather cuffs, satin ties (but NOT silk scarves!), bondage tape and even something originally designed for horses.
3. It's a great way to create vulnerability and trust.
When you consent to being tied up by your lover, you're expressing complete trust. Nothing is more vulnerable than being restrained, unable to escape. To willingly choose this experience is a powerful expression of trust. Only play with erotic bondage with someone you trust completely; never try bondage on the first date.

Bondage is one of the many sexual experiences that gets better as you deepen trust over time. When you trust your lover so much that you can give yourself over to their touch, relaxing completely in your restraints, you can experience true physical vulnerability: a pure aphrodisiac.
4. It heightens sensuality and sensitivity.

Have you ever slipped on a blindfold and felt your sense of touch grow way more sensitive? The same thing happens with bondage. Once you're firmly restrained, all sensations are heightened and amplified. Your lover's touch becomes electric.
Of course, bondage and blindfolds go very well together. But even without a blindfold, bondage creates delicious sensuality. Some people even love the combination of bondage and massage. You don't have to like rough sex to love bondage; it can be gentle, sensual and pleasurable.

5. You can unleash your inner erotic animal.
All too often, we keep our sex lives way too polite. At the core, we're animals, and sex can be a fun way of expressing your more bestial nature. Bondage gives you the opportunity to get a little more kinky in bed.
Once you're fully restrained, you can tug and pull at your bondage, safely expressing your feisty side. Many people love this aspect of erotic bondage — the invitation to struggle and be pleasured at the same time.

WHOA! There's No Such Thing As A Vaginal Orgasm, Says Science

Uhhh... what?!
For years, women have claimed they can orgasm during penetrative sex alone. We've seen it movies, porn, and TV: the elusive vaginal orgasm. But we're here today to tell you that we've all been living a big fat lie.
Science has declared the vaginal orgasm does NOT exist. And if that wasn't enough, the G-spot everyone's been searching for is a total sham.
Thanks to a mind-blowing study published in Clinical Anatomy, orgasms via thrusts have been officially put to bed. It's a fact: women worldwide don't orgasm during penetrative sex. Researchers say there's no anatomical structure in a vagina that could get a woman off.
So what does this mean?
1. We have a lot of fakers on our hands.

Both the women pretending to get off during jackhammer sex and men who have "found" the magical G-spot are liars, all of you.
2. If it wasn't already, your clitoris is your only ticket to pleasure town.
Female orgasms during penetrative sex are definitely possible, but — sorry, penises! — it's only clitoral stimulation that's getting her off.
3. There's good news for women who can't orgasm.
You have also been living a lie. "In all women, orgasm is always possible if the female erectile organs, i.e. the female penis, are effectively stimulated during masturbation, cunnilingus, partner masturbation, or during vaginal/anal intercourse if the clitoris is simply stimulated with a finger," says study co-author Dr. Vincenzo Puppo. Yes, he just called your clitoris a female penis.

Lastly, Puppo (aka Man Of The Year) declared that male ejaculation doesn't automatically mean the end of sex for women.
"Touching and kissing can be continued almost indefinitely, and non-coital sexual acts after male ejaculation can be used to produce orgasm in women."
You already knew that, but now that it's science it gives you all the more reason to spread the word.

5 (Totally Fixable) Mistakes Men Should STOP Making In Bed

If you're unhappy with your sex life, this might be why.
By now you may have perfected the missionary position and learned how to unhook a bra with one hand. But there's still plenty you could be doing to get women more interested in having sex with you.
"If you're being offered a template on how to titillate and stimulate your woman, take it!" says sex educator Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright. "She's not suggesting that you're bad in bed; she's just letting you know what her preferences are."
Women like having sex. A lot of them love it, and a few even think about it all the time. But their shortcoming is that they often want men to be mind readers. Many women aren't confident enough to ask for what they want in bed, so instead, they accept a so-so sex life.

Tonight, start a conversation about sex. Talk about the things that turn you on and ask her if there's anything she'd like you to do differently. If you're more open about sex, your partner will begin to enjoy herself more, which means that you'll reap the benefits, too. Here are five mistakes men keep making in bed.

1. You don't take charge.
Women are leaders in the workplace. They run the household and can do pretty much anything they put their minds to. But when it comes to sex, they often want you to take charge and "be the man." Anything half-hearted and tentative is a turnoff.
"If you're holding back, she will, too," says Fulbright. "You need to unleash your carnal side and make her feel wanted in an almost unbridled way."
2. You never switch up your routine.
If you've been with the same person for a while, you probably know the exact moves that are needed to pleasure your partner. But sex can become as tedious as watching reruns if you never change things up.

"While there's something to be said about the tried and true, mixing things up is what keeps your brain and your other vital parts stimulated," says Fulbright. "She'll be more intrigued with you if the sex has a couple of fun twists and turns."
Tonight, surprise her by having sex in a different room of the house or in a different position, or switch things up by keeping your clothes on. You're sure to get a big reaction.
3. You always focus on the finish line.
Life is about the journey, not the destination, and the same thing is true for sex. When you're frantically laboring away toward your own climax, it's usually not that fun for your partner. Truly hot sex comes from taking your time and exploring.

Spend some time just kissing and touching the parts of your partner's body that you may be neglecting. Make sure she's satisfied first before you cross the finish line.

4. You don't have sex frequently enough.
Most men say that if it were up to them, they'd be having sex every night of the week. But how many times has your partner found you asleep on the couch with ESPN blaring on the television?
"If you don't seem interested in sex, then your woman's inner good girl won't want to put pressure on you. Don't be afraid to have sex just for sex's sake, as this ups testosterone and libido, and makes you both desire it even more," says Fulbright.

If that's not enough of an incentive, having more sex can actually lengthen your lifespan. "The average American has sex once a week, and we know from studies, that doubling that to twice a week can mean you live three years longer," Dr. Oz says.
Initiate sex even if you're tired or not really in the mood. Once you get going, chances are you'll be into it.
5. You don't give enough massags.
Giving a massage can sound about as much fun as a trip to that fancy soap and candle store in the mall. But by spending time touching your partner in a sensual way, you'll make her more relaxed and open to the idea of having sex.

"Massage can be critical to helping her relax and inviting her sexual response," says Fulbright. "Plus, this kind of human touch feels so good and is so needed these days. Cultivating the sensual, as well as the sexual, gets you major brownie points in the bedroom."
Dim the lights, offer her a glass of cucumber water, and break out the massage oil. Pretty soon she'll be saying, "A little to the left, please. Ah ... right there."
Written by Ronnie Koenig

3 Steps To Give Your Woman An Orgasm To End ALL Orgasms

Here's how to ring her bell.
Today I'm going to give you a series of basic techniques designed to give your beloved woman the very best in erotic, physical pleasure. In my experience, the clitoris is the most consistent source of orgasm for the majority of women. There are other ways to bring a woman to orgasm, of course, but this is where I encourage you to start.
The clitoris is, unfortunately, the victim of censorship. Mainstream media often has a hard time embracing the word and wants to censor or remove it from their dialogue, which suppresses the discussion about the specific realities of female sexual pleasure. This angers me.
The unfortunate truth is that some people aren't comfortable with words like clitoris, so for the purposes of this post I'll refrain from the use of the word and call it "ringing her bell" after that '70s song "Ring My Bell," which I hope was referring to precisely what we're talking about.

1. Give her a preview of what's in store while she's still fully dressed.
Get her juices flow before engaging her bell skin-to-skin. Her body needs time to get physically aroused, and most often that takes longer than it does for men. Cup her groin in one hand on the outside of her clothing and place your four fingers on her warmest area.
Now, press your fingers against her in series of slow, even and medium-depth pulses. Light pressure is too insignificant. Heavy ones can hurt, but women sometimes prefer this. Keep kissing her while you touch her down there. Combining pleasures is a skill, and an incredible one when done right.
2. Unbutton her pants and slide your hand down the front, keeping your fingers outside her panties.
Now that there's less fabric between your fingers and her, you can alternate pressing and rubbing her bell in a circular motion. If you need an understanding of bell location, reference a good sex self help book or Wikipedia.

Be sweet to her bell. Combine rubbing with pressure, and alternate that with attention to her entire sexual area from bell down, deeper between her thighs and back up to the bell. Ideally, spend enough time to soak her underwear through from your attention, kissing, and whatever your other hand is doing. That builds more desire and arousal in her, and will make it easier for her to orgasm from your finale.
3. Maintain a direct connection and listen to what she wants.
Once her panties are gone or you're inside them, her natural slickness will help you a great deal when your fingers start touching her bell directly. If she isn't as wet as would be ideal, that's OK because you're an amazing lover and have a small bottle of organic, water-based lubricant in your jacket pocket just in case, right?

There are many techniques, but one good way to start is by circling her bell with two or three fingers held together. The most sensitive part of her bell is at the bottom: her clitoral glans. On some women it's completely covered by the "hood;" on other women it's more exposed.

After you've stroked the hood for a bit, you can move to direct contact with the bell, and include it in your circular stroke more or less prominently, depending on what type of touch she seems to like. Speed up your circles a little and stop kissing her. Tell her to feel those good feelings. That helps her focus on the sensation, which will help her reach orgasm.
Stare with fiery intention into her eyes while you keep your hand going. If you're comfortable doing so, talk dirty to her. Ask her in a whisper if she wants anything to change. That gives her permission to communicate in the heat of the moment. Keep your technique steady. If it feels incredible to her, don't change anything even if she says she's going to come.
While she's orgasming, keep the stimulation the same for the first four seconds, then reduce dramatically and continuously, but don't stop unless she pushes your hand away or motions for you to do so, which means you just have to slow down sooner next time.

I Masturbated Before The Gym To See What It Did To My Workout

Now that's my kind of exercise!
If you are big into weight-lighting and you're a man (two things I am not), then you've probably heard that it's a bad idea to masturbate before going to lift weights.
The science behind this idea is that masturbation that leads to orgasm (which I think we can all agree is the best kind) temporarily lowers your testosterone levels, making it more difficult to build muscle mass.
I'm not a dude, nor do I lift weights in a serious way, but I am a woman who exercises, which means that I have testosterone in my body and the potential to see the efficacy of my workouts dip if this were true. I mean, if I had a penchant for masturbating before going to the gym.
There was only one way to find out for sure.

That's right, I masturbated and then went to the gym to workout.
Usually, if I am going to have a recreational orgasm, I can manage to talk myself into believing that it was my workout of the day. But because I am an honest scientist, I was more than willing to both masturbate AND exercise and report back to you all.

First, the control: A regular workout.
I didn't masturbate, then I walked to the local YMCA (represent!) and did my usual circuit training on the nautilus weightlifting machines. It was challenging enough, but I had some pretty solid show tunes going to keep me nice and locked in.
Pro-tip: It's much easier to power through lateral lifts while listening to the Hamilton soundtrack.
When I was done with my reps, I jogged for twenty minutes on the treadmill.
It was not pleasant, but then again, running never really is.
When I was done, I felt physically beat, but also euphoric. I also managed to walk past Chipotle on my way home without eating seven burrito bowls, and that felt like a real victory.

Second, the experiment: Masturbation plus a delightfully delicious orgasm and then exercise.
I woke up feeling not remotely horny, a fact that rapidly changed once I started masturbating with my Womanizer vibrator.
Pro-top: it's much more difficult to masturbate to orgasm while listening to the Hamilton soundtrack.

I came pretty quickly and immediately wanted to go back to sleep.
Instead, I got up, got dressed, cursed the name of the lord on high, and walked to the gym.

Once I arrived, I began the same routine as the day before.
The weight-lifting was fine, I kind of felt like I had to poop throughout, but I think that was unrelated to my masturbation and orgasm.
At least, I hope it was.
When it came time to jog, it felt the same as the day before except  I was super aware of my clitoris while I was jogging. I think that's probably because it was still a bit sensitive from all the masturbation.
This was pleasant. If anything, it was a nice distraction from the fact that my lungs were on fire.
On my way home from the gym, however, I did go into Chipotle.
Thankfully, the line was too long and I was forced to go home and make better decisions.

I did not find that masturbation had any effect, positive or negative, on my workout. And, despite a lot of myths to the contrary, that's what actual science says too!
That said, if you're going to plan your masturbation around your workout, maybe go for the gold (the gold being orgasm) AFTER the gym.
It is obviously a healthier reward than a trip to Chipotle.

I Didn't Have An Orgasm Until My 20s, But When I FINALLY Did — WOW

Bring on the big O.
I would not describe myself as a late bloomer though the facts of my story belie that statement.
I was pudgy, I wore glasses as round as my face. My mom chose all of my clothes and I was never a girl that boys "liked".
This didn't mean I wasn't sexually curious.
In second grade while watching a documentary on jazz, I turned to a friend and said, "I think the saxophone has something to do with sex."
I was not correct on any level.
Like a young Tina Belcher, I wasn't disinterested in sex and masturbating and figuring out how to have an orgasm.
I was just totally clueless.
As a kid, I spent a notorious amount of time with my hand down my pants.
I wasn't masturbating, I was comforting myself. It's warm down there, as I'm sure you also know.
I didn't put the funny overwhelming flutter I got in the pit of my stomach when I saw Kevin Sorbo on TV in the same category as anything my hand could do to my vagina. 

They were unrelated experiences.
In high school, the "bad girls" talked about their sex lives, spending the weekend sneaking into adult novelty stores to buy cheap vibrators.
I was enthralled but baffled.
They talked about how to have an orgasm all the time, but while I laid in bed aching, it wasn't for orgasms. My fantasies were for stuff like kisses from my one true love while wearing a very ornate Renaissance style gown and also maybe I had magical powers. I may have been reading too many fantasy novels.
But I digress.
By the time I got to college, I had pretty much written off my sexuality until I was placed in a dorm suite with girls a couple years older than me.
They talked about their sex lives in ways none of my close friends did, and when they placed a bulk order of vibrators, I got in on the action.

I ordered this wearable vibrator that looked like a butterfly and was supposed to hit your G-Spot and your clit. It was powered by an attached remote control.
I put it on and tried to feel sexy but the smell of rubber put me off (I guess I don't have a latex fetish) and the sensations felt more uncomfortable than orgasm inducing.
I lied when my suite-mates asked how it went. They were far too invested in my first orgasm.
"I figured out how to have an orgasm, it was dope," I probably said, fooling no one.
When I went home that summer I was too paranoid about my mom finding my vibrator so I threw it away.

But I hadn't given up my quest for an orgasm.
I went back to basics, touching myself with my hands only, focusing on my body's reactions instead of distant sexual fantasies.
When my first orgasm finally happened I was nearly asleep and rubbing myself. 

I remember bolting awake and feeling both like I had to sneeze and desperately scratch an itch.
But I did neither. Instead, I had my first, real orgasm.
In the past, I thought I had experienced one, but actually having one made it very clear: When you have an orgasm, you know.
In the years since I've learned to appreciate sex toys in a way I couldn't as a sexual novice just getting used to masturbation.
My inexperience and relative late-blooming didn't make unsexy or lame, it made me, well, inexperienced and late-blooming.
Whenever I experience a dip in libido now, I try to conjure up those early orgasms and the feeling of connectedness to by body that went with them.
I have had many orgasms since, and I don't remember them all, but that first one will always hold a special place in my heart (and vagina).

The ULTIMATE Guide To Using Lube To Make Your Sex Wetter & Better

Here's the real scoop...

When I was starting out in my career, we always talked about lubes as a problem solver. Sure, we knew that people used lubes for fun, but the focus always seemed like it was on problem-prevention, rather than pleasure.
Thankfully, it's time to talk about how lubes can enhance your sex life, not just provide a "fix." So that being said, the days of clinical-looking, problem-solving, super-sticky personal lubricants are over.
And it's about time, because as we all know (or at least we should know) that lubes make sex better. Lubes are a sex accessory. And if sex was good for you before, imagine how good it could be now.
Many people think that lubricants are either for women who have vaginal dryness, have had a baby, or are menopausal. Guess what? That's not true. Lubes are used throughout our lives, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. And lubricants don't mean anything about you other than you like to have the best sex possible.

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But if you're a novice in the lube department, you may be wondering, "How do I incorporate this lube into my sex life if we've never used one before?" Fair question.
There are two ways to tackle this: Do you want it to be a sexy surprise that hints at what's to come, or do you want to do some shopping together? There are benefits to both.
If it's a surprise, imagine how excited your partner will be to know that there's sex — good sex — in the near future. You can leave the package on his or her pillow, or on top of the nightstand.

If it's a joint shopping trip, you both get to choose the lube that whets your appetite. You get to choose the one that looks and feels most appealing. And consider how sexy shopping for sex products can be. It means that you have to talk about what you want your lube to do. You have to ask your partner if he or she wants continuous silkiness, or continued warmth, or long-lasting arousal. How do you want it?

But keep in mind that lubes aren’t just for partnered sex. Lubricants can be a great addition to solo sex. You can have a variety of lubes for any or all of your intimate experiences. There's no one way to use lubricants — there are many options, it’s just up to you.
Lube isn't just for intercourse, it makes for great foreplay, too. Rub some between your fingers and use it to stimulate yourself or your partner. You can put it on the clitoris, labia, the perineum (his or hers), anus, breasts — basically, you can use lube anywhere you’d like.

You can also use lube in place of massage oil. Put some on your hands and rub them together if you want to warm it up.

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If you're using condoms (and many people should be), you can add some lube to the outside tip of the condom as well as inside the tip. This way, both partners benefit.

Lube is great for changing up your masturbatory routine. It c

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n offer you a different experience, regardless of your partner status.

But of course, if you want to use lube, you're going to have to keep it handy. Think about all the options: your nightstand, a pocketbook, in a travel bag. Keep it accessible — you never know when you may want it.

11 Creative Ways You Never Even KNEW You Could Masturbate

We all know about the showerhead trick, but do you know about these?

Sure, you probably have used your hands and fingers to masturbate for years. But just like with intercourse, you'll notice that solo play becomes a lot more fun when you add a little variety.
Every so often, you may try the hot new toy or watch a whole other kind of porn. You'll find it makes things hotter. But have you ever had those surprise orgasms? Maybe while doing the laundry or on a motorcycle?
Basically, anything with vibrations can end up showing you a good time, and that's not the end of it. There are lots of unexpected ways to orgasm, and a lot involve things you are probably already doing but just never expected it could be used for this reason!
For example, would you consider a bathtub jet spray or handheld shower head? "Just take a seat on the edge of your tub, toilet seat or stand and use the water jet to stimulate your clitoris," says sexpert Coleen Singer of Sssh.com. It turns out to be a common but unexpected source of intense pleasure.

"When I was 20 and in a hot tub, I accidently put my vagina near one of the strong jets with other people in the hot tub. It was very exciting and they had no idea what I was doing. I had an orgasm in about 5 seconds!" says Julia Allen, a pioneer female entrepreneur and co-founder of StockingsVR.
Besides using the showerhead, here are 11 ways you should know how to masturbate. You never know — you may get a surprise orgasm.
1. Doing sit-ups.
"It was early in high school gym class when I learned that simply doing sit-ups could bring me to climax. Embarrassing at the time, but it came in 'handy' later in life when I wanted to kill two birds with one stone," says Kristin S. of Motorbunny.

2. Riding a bicycle

"A girlfriend introduced this to me. She told me that the reason she loved to take long bicycle rides was because she would have multiple orgasms all day from her bicycle seat. She also didn't wear any panties. So the next day I went out with her and became a bicycle convert," says Allen.

3. Grinding on furniture

Dry-humping furniture while watching Virtual Reality porn is a great way to masturbate.

"When I have the glasses on I lose all perspective and just start grinding on whatever piece of furniture is around," says Allen.

4. Using an electric toothbrush

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First, get a bag of Disposable Latex Finger Cots (Reusable Rubber Fingertips Protective), and then get to work.

"You will need these to put over the brush end of the toothbrush as the fibers would be far more intense than you would enjoy and possibly scratch your sensitive parts. Once set up, turn on the power and enjoy. If your electric toothbrush has a 'pulse' setting, experiment with that as well," says Singer.

5. Leaning on a washing machine

It vibrates when on the spin cycle and using it to masturbate can be interesting.

"All you need to do is sit on the machine when it is on spin cycle, and let the vibration bring you to orgasm (you may also need to rub your clit with your fingers to come to climax). If you want an extra variation to add some 'kick,' throw a pair of sneakers into the washing machine; will dramatically increase the experience," says Singer.

6. Rubbing against the water faucet

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Masturbating while in the tub or shower is a deliciously sensual and pleasing way to get yourself off, says Antonia Hall, MA. a psychologist, relationship expert and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life. A shower head or tub faucet against your clitoris feels amazing and can lead to some pretty incredible orgasms.

7. Taking advantage of lube

Making things slick feels great and can assist with reaching climax for many women, says Hall. Make sure to use a natural lubricant that is free of toxins, like parabens and phthalates.

8. Finding your G-spot

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While most women need good clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, one shouldn't discount some G-spot play to increase climactic pleasure, says Hall. About two inches inside along the front wall is a ridged area. Curl your fingers, rubbing against the area while using the palm of your hand against your clit. This dual action can lead to mind-bending orgasms.

9. Laying on your stomach
If you usually masturbate lying on your back, try switching it up by lying face down. You can put a pillow between your legs and rub against it or support a sex toy, which you can straddle. Find the right angles to bring yourself to blissful climax.

10. Laying on your side

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Lying on your side, rub your thighs together, and focus on stimulating your clitoris, says Hall. You can add a pillow to rub against, as well as inserting Ben Wa or Kegel balls to add further stimulation. Rock back and forth, finding that perfect rhythm.

11. Doing Kegels

Women are wired to have orgasms from Kegels and breathwork.

"Squeezing your PC muscle while focusing on moving sexual energy can lead to incredible orgasms, all hands off. My book teaches women how to breathe, bounce, and squeeze their way to multiple orgasms. It's a great skill to learn, which will serve you well for the rest of your life," says Hall.