How to have oral sex

'Going down', 'rimming' and 'blow jobs' are some of the many ways of describing oral sex. But what’s the best way to do it?

Whether you are thinking about having oral sex for the first time or just want some more information – read on for tips on how enjoy safe oral sex

What is oral sex?

Oral sex involves using your mouth or tongue to stimulate your partner’s genitals or anus.   

Many people enjoy oral sex as part of their sex life but it is a very personal thing and not everybody likes it or chooses to do it. Different people like to give or receive oral sex in different ways. There are a whole variety of ways to lick, suck and stimulate someone. You may decide not to have oral sex at all, or you may enjoy experimenting with your partner to find out what gives you both pleasure.

It is important to talk to your partner so you can understand what you both enjoy and what you would prefer to avoid.  

Top tips for oral sex

It can take a while to work out what makes someone feel good. The best thing to do is to keep communicating with your partner. Ask them to tell you what feels nice and let them know when you are enjoying something.

If you’re happy and comfortable with someone, oral sex can be a great way to get physically closer and learn what turns each other on. If you find you aren’t enjoying something you can stop at any time you want, and the same is true for your partner.

How do you give a man oral sex?

A man’s penis does not need to be erect for you to start oral sex (a blow job) but you may want to use your hand to arouse him first. If you hold his penis during oral sex, you can control how deep it goes into your mouth. You can move your hand allowing the penis to go as far into your mouth as you are comfortable with.

A man’s penis is highly sensitive, so be gentle at first and slowly work up to a faster pace. You can try different tongue, mouth and head movements to see what works best but never use your teeth unless asked.

When you give a man oral sex you can stop at any time and it’s up to you to decide if you want to let him ejaculate (or cum) in your mouth. Of course, if he’s wearing a condom this isn’t an issue, and it means you will both be protected against sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

How do you give a woman oral sex?

Before you begin giving a woman oral sex, she may enjoy it if you spend some time kissing and touching her upper thighs and the area around her vagina first, to help her get aroused.

The whole genital area is sensitive, but for most women the clitoris (with its 8,000 nerve endings) is the most sensitive part. Gently part the outer lips of the vagina and look for the vaginal opening, and the hooded clitoris just above it.

Start off softly, using a relaxed tongue to make slow movements and work up to faster movements with a firmer tongue. You can experiment moving your tongue in different ways and try different rhythms – taking cues from your partner to find out what she enjoys most.

How do you give oral-anal sex (rimming)?

Performing oral sex on your partner’s anus (also known as rimming) can be part of any sexual relationship, whether gay, bisexual or straight.

If you are concerned about hygiene, ask your partner to wash first. You could also bathe together as part of foreplay.

Before you begin, your partner may like it if you gently kiss and touch the area around the anus including the perineum (the area of skin between the genitals and the anus). You can then focus on the anus, circling your tongue around the outer area and finally inserting your tongue. Remember to listen to your partner and do what they enjoy, whether that’s licking, sucking or gently probing.

If you are giving oral sex to a woman, don’t move from the anus to the vagina as this can transfer bacteria and cause infection.

Can I get HIV and STIs from oral sex?

The risk of HIV transmission from oral sex is very low unless the person receiving oral sex has an STI or sores on their genital area, or the person giving oral sex has sores in their mouth or bleeding gums. If the person living with HIV is on medication and has undetectable levels of HIV then there is no risk of passing the virus on.

However, other STIs can easily be passed on during oral sex, in particular herpes, gonorrhoea and syphilis. Certain infections and viruses that are found in faeces (poo) can be passed on through oral–anal sex, this includes hepatitis A and E.coli.

Knowing you have taken precautions to keep you and your partner safe can help make you more relaxed during oral sex. There are simple ways to protect you both:

• Do not brush your teeth straight beforehand as you may make your mouth or gums bleed.
• Use an condom if you are giving oral sex to a man or a dental dam for oral sex on a woman or oral-anal sex. A dental dam is a thin, soft plastic cover that acts as a barrier. If you don’t have one you can cut a condom lengthways from bottom to top to make one piece of material that can be used instead. Hold one side of the dam against your partners vagina / anus and lick the other. Never turn the dam over, just use one side.
• If you are having oral sex during your or your partner’s period, using a dam is even more important because menstrual blood can carry bacteria and viruses just like other blood.
• Avoid getting semen (cum) in your mouth.

Avoid oral sex altogether when the risk of passing on any virus or infection is highest, for example, if you have:

• sores around your mouth, genitals or anus
• any damage to your gums
• a throat infection
• had any recent dental work.

Be aware that you may not know if you or your partner has an infection as infections can be passed on even if there are no obvious signs or symptoms. If you do have sores around your mouth, genitals or anus, you should get them checked out by a healthcare professional as they may be a sign of an infection.

Should I have oral sex?

Deciding whether to have oral sex is a very personal choice. Only you and your partner can know if you are ready to experiment with oral sex. Think about whether it feels right, and whether you are both comfortable with the decision.

Talking to your partner about protection before you start having oral sex will help make things easier. This may feel embarrassing but taking responsibility for protecting yourself and your partner is an important part of having sex. If you find it too awkward to talk about then you may not be ready to have oral sex just yet.

You should never give or receive oral sex just because you feel forced into it. Don’t be pressured into any sex act by comments like “it doesn’t mean we’ve had real sex – you’ll still be a virgin”, or “if you don’t want sex at least go down on me”, or “it’s not as risky as having intercourse”. If one of you isn’t comfortable with the decision it can ruin the whole experience. Oral sex should be fun for both of you.

10 Oral Sex Tips to Make It More Enjoyable for Everyone

Whether you participate in oral sex as foreplay before penetrative sex, or as the main event in your sexual adventure, it can be an incredibly satisfying and pleasurable act to engage in with your partner. Some have argued that oral sex is actually more intimate than penetrative sex, because it requires you to get close to the most personal part of someone’s body. It’s not every day, after all, that you have your face in someone’s lap.

But there’s something deeper than that, too. Unless you’re participating in mutual oral sex, like in a 69 position, it’s typical that only one person is getting off at a time. That can be a seriously vulnerable position for anyone to be in — whether they’re giving or receiving. And since it’s such a vulnerable position, insecurities abound. How do you tell your partner what you like? And how do you figure out if your partner is liking what you’re doing to them?

With a few simple tips, however, you can master the oral sex game. Ahead, we lay out a handful of tips that will turn any sack session into a fun, and steamy, experience.

1. Consent Is The Most Important Thing, Period.

Before you get down to anything, it’s important to remember the golden rule: No sex without consent. Yes, even oral sex. Some people are just flat-out uninterested in receiving, or giving, oral sex — and that’s completely fine. It’s important to respect your partner’s wishes above all else. So no pushing heads down and no begging. If the answer is no, respect it and move on.

2. Have A Conversation Before.

The best time to have a chat about what you like and dislike about sex, oral or penetrative, is before sex — when your clothes are still on. This allows you and your partner to have a discussion that isn’t coercive or cloaked in any kind of pressure. Go over what you like, what you dislike, any fantasies you’re interested in, or anything that is an absolute no-go. That way, when you guys are in the heat of the moment, everyone knows the rules.

3. Don’t Be Ashamed Of Inexperience.

It’s totally fine to not know what you like or to not know how to have oral sex. In fact, some of the most satisfying sexual experiences are exploratory ones. Be open to one another about your experience, so that everyone can be on the same page. And don’t feel like you have to dive in to the deep end right off the bat.

4. Start Slow.

Especially if you’re new, or you’re the one who is giving the oral. It’s hard for us to respond to direct, intense stimuli right off the bat. So tickle and tease a little bit. Maybe lick the head of your partner’s penis before you take him fully into your mouth. Or use your fingers on your partner’s clit before you start licking and sucking. Slow and steady wins every race — even when it comes to sex.

5. Listen And Look For Non-Verbal Cues.

Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, it can be hard for the person receiving the oral sex to speak up about what they’re feeling. That’s why it’s so important for the person giving the oral to listen and look for non-verbal cues. If your partner looks fearful or uncomfortable, stop and ask if they’re enjoying themselves, and then reassess from there. But if they’re moaning or breathing heavily? Keep doing what you’re doing.

6. Use Your Hands, Too.

If your partner has a penis, work their shaft in tandem with your mouth sucking on their head. It creates a longer surface of stimulation, which can be incredibly tantalizing to some. If your partner has a clit and a vulva, don’t be afraid to rub their clit with your thumb in between sucks. Or, insert a few fingers into their vagina while you’re sucking their clit, and massage their g-spot. It’s the spongy membrane on the inside of their vagina, directly under the mons. Use two fingers in a come-hither motion to slowly work this sensitive spot.

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7. Moisture Is Your Friend.

Whether it be spit or lubricant, use a lot of it. Nothing kills the mood like sandpaper friction during sex.

8. Don’t Forget To Add Some Variety.

No one like the same movement over and over again. So, once your partner is properly worked up, change your technique a bit. Take your partner's penis deeply into your throat (if you’re comfortable) and then quickly change to short, head-centric sucking. If your partner has a clitoris, alternate between tickling the sensitive spot with the tip of your tongue and sucking it. These variations in technique make for a seriously toe-curling experience.

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9. Don’t Be Afraid To Give Directions.

Any partner who you have going down on you should be a partner you trust to take your directions as an adult — period. So don’t be afraid to tell your partner if something just isn’t working for you. You can do this in a sexy way so as not to break the mood. “Suck a little bit harder, baby” sounds better than “You’re not sucking hard enough.”

10. Remember — Orgasm Is Not The Goal.

In general, we all tend to be a little orgasm-obsessed. Oral sex is a great way to pleasure your partner without worrying about getting them off. So focus on the journey, and not the destination. Oral sex shouldn’t be a race to the finish, after all. Use it as a way to learn about your partner’s pleasure — and your own. It will make for a much more delightful experience. And if you do orgasm? Well, that’s just a cherry on top.

16 Woman-On Top Sex Positions For When You Want To Take Control

 Somthing you want to have sex standing up, other times you want to lie back and let your partner work their magic. On other occasions, you want to try a kinky position, or one that lets your partner go really (really) deep. Then there are those times when you just want all the control. When those dominant feels strike, there's just one course of action to take: get on top.
A woman-on-top sex position will let you dictate the depth and angle of penetration, as well as the speed, plus it may be able to help you reach orgasm more easily, says Reba Thomas, a pleasure-positive sex educator and CEO of Sexpert Consultants, a company that specializes in adult sex health education. "Being on top feels great for people with clitorises because over 70 percent of people with vulvas require external clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. When you're on top (and you lean forward), the friction helps awaken the clitoral cluster, and when you're more aroused, the pleasure is better for everyone."
But being on top doesn't mean you always have to resort to cowgirl (as amazing as it is). In fact, there are actually 16 different woman-on-top positions for you to get creative with while riding your partner's strap-on or penis, and plenty of these allow for additional stimulation like nipple play with your free hands or a vibrator.
Want to get started tonight? To give you inspo for your next sex sesh, here are some of the best woman-on-top positions, according to a sexpert.
1. Face-Off

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From this position, you're totally in control of the angle and depth of penetration, says Thomas. "The person on top has control over how they're being penetrated and because the bodies are so close, there's bound to be friction on the external part of the clitoris." Not only that, but your hands are also 100 percent free to do as they please–whether it's show your clit some love or get fun and handsy with your partner's erogenous zones.
Do it: Your partner sits on a chair or the edge of the bed; you face them, seated on their lap.
2. Cowgirl

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"This is one of the most vibrator-friendly positions," says Thomas. This classic woman-on-top position puts you in total control, and you can try adding a little spice by incorporating a couples vibrator like Eva or by playing around with how wide you spread your legs. If you want to level up the action, try holding your partner's hands above their head (or tying them up...).
Do it: You kneel on top, pushing off your partner's chest and sliding up and down their thighs. You can relieve some of your weight from their pelvis by leaning back and supporting yourself on their thighs.
3. Cowgirl's Helper

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The Cowgirl's Helper puts less stress on your legs, making reaching that sweet, sweet orgasm way less strenuous (score!). You can also try alternating between shallow penetration by leaning forward and deep thrusting by sitting up straighter to target different parts of your vagina, in particular your G-spot, says Thomas.
Do it: Similar to the popular Cowgirl sex position, you kneel on top, pushing off your partner's chest and sliding up and down the thighs. But your partner helps by supporting some of your weight and grabbing your hips or thighs while they rise to meet each thrust.
4. Reverse Cowgirl

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This is a great variation on classic Cowgirl. Again, it lets you take control of the pace and angle of thrusts. If you want to add some extra stimulation, Thomas recommends asking your partner to shift their position a bit. "You can enhance this position by asking the penetrating partner to bend their knees, which will allow you to stimulate your clitoris." Their thighs will create the perfect surface to rub your clit against during sex. Yes, please.
Do it: Your partner lies on their back; you straddle them, facing their feet.
5. Champagne Room

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This position, while allowing you to regulate just how fast and intense the sex is going to be, works for both vaginal and anal sex. Plus, your hands are free to roam and stimulate your clit, your partner's inner thighs, or even their anus for double (or triple) the pleasure, says Thomas.
Do it: Your partner sits and you sit on top of them, facing away.
6. The Om

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If you want to slow things down and have intimate, sensual sex, opt for The Om. Try rocking, rather than thrusting in this position—not only will it stimulate your clit, but it will also gradually build up to an epic finale for both of you. Not to mention, you get some seriously sexy eye contact with this one which is major for intimacy. Thomas says this setup also makes it easier to find a rhythm. "Creating a steady and consistent rhythm, which is key for many people to reach orgasm, is easy in this position."
Do it: Your partner sits cross-legged (yoga/pretzel-style), you sit in their lap facing them. Wrap your legs around them and hug each other for support.
7. The Lazy Man

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This position puts you in control, and maintains plenty of intimacy. Think of your partner's pelvis as a masturbatory tool, something to rub and stimulate your clitoris with and against. To make this position even hotter, Thomas recommends adding in some nipple play. "If your partner stimulates your breasts in this position by sucking, licking, or massaging, that can increase arousal and pleasure for you both."
Do it: Place pillows behind your partner’s back and have them sit on the bed with legs outstretched. Now straddle their waist, feet on the bed. Bend your knees to lower yourself onto them, using one hand to direct the penis or strap-on in. Just by pressing on the balls of your feet and releasing, you can raise and lower yourself onto the shaft as slowly or as quickly as you please.
8. Pretzel Dip

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Think of this sex position as doggy style, except with eye contact and a pretty good view of your partner's body. Aside from being great for penetration with a penis or strap-on, Thomas says this position is also pretty ideal for getting handsy. "The Pretzel Dip is a great position for stimulating the clitoris either with a hand, toy, or thigh."
Do it: Have your partner lie on their right side; then kneel, straddling your right leg and curling your left leg around their left side.
9. Leap Frog

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If you live for deep penetration, add this to your list of go-to's. "Leap Frog with an arched back is great for deep penetration," says Thomas, who adds that you can up the intensity of this position by stimulating the tip of the clitoris to ensure maximum arousal.
Do it: This is a modified doggy-style. Have your partner get on their hands and knees, then, keeping their hips raised, enter them from behind with your finger or strap-on.
10. Valedictorian

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This position may put both of your flexibilities to the test. This move allows for deep penetration, stimulation of the clit, and lots of grinding. Thomas adds that the friction against the vulva can also make this position worth the extra effort.
Do it: From missionary position, your partner raises their legs and extends them straight out (forming a “V”).
11. The Spider

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From this seated position, you get to watch all the sexy action. Plus, you can also try taking it a step further by placing your partner's legs on your shoulders, which will make it easier for you to thrust and move your hips in circles. Want to make it even hotter? Reach down and stimulate your partner's clitoris, says Thomas, or their nipples or inner thighs.
Do it: Sit on the bed with legs toward one another, arms back to support yourselves. Now move together so your genitals are touching, or enter them with your strap-on. Their hips will be between your spread legs, your knees bent, and feet outside of their hips and flat on the bed. Now rock back and forth.
12. Missionary

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Sometimes you just gotta go with what you know and missionary position is a tried and true position for many couples. Thomas suspects it's such a popular position because it allows women to rub their clitorises up against their partners. That, and it's one that's ideal for eye contact if you're looking to add some intimacy to your sex.
Do it: Do I really need to spell this one out? Okay. Have them lie on their back while you lie facedown on top of them.
13. Magic Mountain

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Okay, so maybe you're not on top, per se, but you are in control. You get to decide how much you rub your clitoris against your partner's pelvis. Plus, because you're facing each other, this position helps you feel really connected not only physically, but emotionally too. "The eye contact in this position really adds to the intimacy and helps partners focus on the here and now and what's happening between their bodies," says Thomas.
Do it: Your partner sits, legs bent, leaning back on their hands and forearms. You do the same and then inch toward them until you make contact.
14. Golden Arch

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You'll be the one in complete control over the depth, speed, and angle of the thrusts. "This position is great for exploring which types of strokes and depth of penetration really does it for you," says Thomas. From this position you can also easily lean back farther for some extra G-spot stimulation, and you (or your partner) have easy access to your clit.
Thomas's pro-tip is to make sure you arch your back while in this position. "Arching your back can change the angle that the penis [or strap-on] comes in contact with the vaginal wall and internal parts of the clitoris," she explains.
Do it: Your partner sits with their legs straight and you sit on top of them with bent knees on top of their thighs, and you both lean back.
15. The Chairman

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This sex position is great for that G-spot love. Plus, your hands are both free for some sexy stroking. This position is ideal for exploring different angles of penetration, says Thomas. "Leaning forward or back changes angles and can help you and your partner find out what works for you both," she says.
Do it: Your partner sits on the edge of the bed and you sit on them, facing away.
16. Woman Astride

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Target your G-spot while maintaining control over the speed and depth of thrusts. And, from this reclined position, it's an obvious invitation for your partner to stroke away at your clit and play with your breasts. says Thomas, so "give them the love they deserve," she adds.
Do it: This position is just like Cowgirl, but with a twist. Climb on top and have your partner enter you. Then, lean back and place your hands on the bed for support, creating a 45-degree angle with your partner's legs.

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The 12 Best Sex Positions to Stimulate Your Clit

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You know how in A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Shakespeare famously wrote, “And though she be but little, she is fierce”? Yeah, that basically sums up your clit. “Research shows it’s clitoral stimulation, not vaginal stimulation, that is the powerhouse of the female orgasm,” says sex therapist Ian Kerner, PhD, author of She Comes First. In other words, clit stimulation is a must when it comes to mind-blowing sex.

Relationship and sex therapist Erica Marchand, PhD, agrees. "Clitoral stimulation is a necessity for most [people] to have an orgasm. Plus, it feels really good, helps [the partner] get turned on, can help with lubrication, and in general makes for a much more pleasurable sexual experience."

It's also a must for people who usually don't orgasm from penetrative sex whether that's because they're on their periods, find penetration painful, or simply don't get off from it. "Most women don't have orgasms through penetration alone—it would be akin to a guy trying to orgasm just from someone stimulating his scrotum and the base of his penis and never going near the head. Maybe it would happen sometimes, but it would be difficult!" says Marchand.

Table Top

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The Table Top position provides easy access to the clitoris, says Jenkins-Hall. "Either partner can stimulate the clitoris with their hands or a toy during strokes. Also, the clitoris can be gently pushed down to receive stimulation during the stroking motion." Plus, this position ups the intimacy, as there's plenty of opportunity for eye-contact.

Do it: You don’t have to do this one on a table—any surface that hits your partner at crotch height will do. Have them enter you while you’re sitting or lying at the edge of a table, counter, or maybe even your bed.

Modifications: If the position gets a uncomfortable, Jenkins-Hall recommends placing a pillow underneath of the receiving partner.

Scoop Me Up

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Want to feel every inch of your partner? Try this one. "This side-lying position is great because it provides skin-to-skin contact and the clitoris is readily available," says Jenkins-Hall. "Either partner can provide stimulation to clitoris while thrusting by simply wrapping their arms toward the front since both are lying and facing the same direction."

Do it: Both of you lie on your sides, facing the same direction. You bring your knees up slightly while your partner slides up behind your pelvis and enters you from behind in the spooning position.

Modifications: Since the position may make the clitoris a little harder to reach, the receptive partner should spread or widen their legs to make it more accessible, suggests Jenkins-Hall.

Pretzel Dip

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You already know pretzels taste good, but contorting your bodies into one can make for explosive pleasure. Deviate from the thrusting norm, and focus on friction for maximum results. “This position is about persistently connecting and grinding against each other,” says Kerner. That grinding action will help make your clit happy.

Do it: Lie on your right side. Your partner kneels, straddling your right leg and curling your left leg around their left side. Have them enter you from here. This will provide deep penetration and easy clit access.

Modifications: Not feeling enough pressure? Have your partner lean back. “If they lean forward, it’s easier to manually stimulate you," says Kerner. "But leaning back offers the best angle to press into each other."

Face-Off

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This romantic position is made with the added focus on your clitoris. You can give yourself a hand, or you can close the distance between your two bodies to go hands-free. “Rub yourself against them to get the stimulation you need,” says Kerner.

Do it: Your partner sits on a chair or the edge of the bed. You face them, straddling their lap. From here, you can control the angle and depth of the entry and thrusts. Plus, this position provides extra support, which is helpful for long sex seshes.

Modifications: Have them support your weight, then lean back for more clitoral contact against their body. “Think of it as them dipping you during a dance," says Kerner. "With that support, you can get a good rhythm going."

Leap Frog

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Get more bang for your buck. While this position is a natural for G-spot stimulation, it can be a winner for your clitoris, too. “When [your partner] is in a comfortable enough position, they can try to reach under you and provide clitoral stimulation,” says Kerner.

Do it: This is a modified doggy-style. To do this variation, get on your hands and knees, then, keeping your hips raised, rest your head and arms on the bed. Have your partner enter you from behind, while holding your hips for extra thrusting support. They can rub your clit from this position, or you can take matters into your own hands.

Modifications: If the thrusting makes it hard for them to keep their hand on target, have them grind against you in circles instead. Less in-and-out motion can make for a more consistent connection.

Missionary

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It’s an oldie and a goodie for a reason. “This can be nice if [you're] able to focus less on thrusting and more on connecting,” says Kerner. If you need a stronger touch, feel free to grab their butt and pull them deeper inside of you so that their pelvic area presses harder against your clitoris.

Do it: Lie on your back while your partner lies facedown on top of you. Have them enter you here, pressing close together so their penis or strap-on can rub up against your clit. From here, play around with the position a bit—shift the angle of your legs to change the sensation for both of you.

Modifications: Have them scoot their entire body higher up horizontally. “If they ride you a little higher, they won’t just be thrusting,” says Kerner. Instead, they’ll have to move their body down a bit each time they want to get deeper, which means their pelvis and the shaft of their penis or strap-on can massage your clitoris.

Doggie Style

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This move great if you want to have your partner stimulate your clitoris for you. “It may be hard to stimulate yourself because you’re on both hands, but they can lean over and reach under to touch your clitoris,” says Kerner.

Do it: Get on all fours. Your partner kneels behind you, with their upper body straight up or slightly draped over you. Again, this position allows for deep penetration and easy access to your clit. Either stimulate your own clit with one hand, while balancing on the other, or ask your partner to take total control.

Modifications: Ask your partner to lean over even more so their hand can stay pressed up against your clitoris, or transition from thrusting into smoother grinding motions. That way, you may be able to support yourself enough to get the job done on your own.

Reverse Scoop

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Feeling intimate? This position offers the best of both worlds: ultimate closeness to your partner and plenty of clitoral stimulation. “Once you’re both comfortably positioned, you can get into a great grinding rhythm against their leg,” says Kerner.

Do it: From missionary position, without pulling out, turn together onto your sides, using your arms to support your upper bodies. From here, you get the same full-body press (good news for your clit). You can also try intertwining your legs here, for extra stimulation.

Modifications: One of you can slip a hand down south to get the most out of this position. “Since you’re on your sides, you have enough support to easily provide some manual stimulation,” says Kerner.

The Seashell

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Opening up is a good thing when you’re trying to get off. “When your vulva is very exposed, there’s a lot of clitoral and inner labial stimulation,” says Kerner. Go to town with your hands, and focus on the visual of them sliding in and out of you if you need some erotic fuel.

Do it: Lie back with your legs raised all the way up and your ankles crossed behind your own head. Have your partner enter you from a missionary position.

Modifications: Do away with the hand action. Ask your partner to reposition their body a bit higher so that their pelvis is right against your clitoris, says Kerner.

The Pinball Wizard

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Does it look like the dirty version of a move you’d do in barre class? Yes. Does it provide awesome sensations for your nether regions? Absolutely. Another perk Marchand points out: this position is perfect for watching. "The pinball wizard is great for being able to watch your partner do their thing! And also for the potential for G-spot stimulation, depending on the angle of thrusting, as well as for manual clitoral stimulation by either partner." The key here is getting really close, then changing up the direction of your movements. Instead of regular thrusting, have your partner move your body up and down against theirs.

Do it: Get into a partial bridge pose, with your weight resting on your shoulders. Your partner enters you from a kneeling position. You can adjust your height by lifting your hips higher, or going up on your tip-toes. You can also try throwing one leg up against their shoulder for deeper penetration.

Modifications: Stabilize yourself (you may have to come down from the balls of your feet unless your partner can support you with one hand), and have them touch your clitoris just the way you like. “If [they] have the strength for it, that could definitely work,” says Kerner. You can also use pillows for support, Marchand adds. "To make clitoral stimulation easier in this position, I'd add a stack of pillows or a foam support underneath your partner, so both participants can relax more and focus less on holding the other up and more on their movements and consistency of clitoral stimulation."

The Om

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If you need long-lasting clitoral stimulation, you can settle into this comfortable position and stay a while. Get extra-close, and grind against your partner, says Kerner: “It’s really about their pelvis and your clitoris making contact.”

Do it: Your partner sits cross-legged, and you sit on their lap facing them. Wrap your legs around them and hug each other for support. Rather than thrusting, try rocking to really make the most of this position.

Modifications: Switch up your movements, says Kerner. Try rubbing up and down against them or rolling your hips in mini circles until you find what feels best.

Valedictorian

EMILY SCHIFF-SLATER

This easy transition from missionary may not seem like a clitoris-pleaser, but a tweak makes it work. “Have them ride high and focus on pressing down on your body,” says Kerner. “It’s a great position for a lot of contact and grinding.”

Do it: From missionary position, raise your legs and extend them straight out, forming a “V” shape. You can also try grabbing your ankles for stability, and an added stretch.

Modifications: Instead of having them do all the work, slip your arms around their back, hold them close to you, and rub your body against theirs. The added pressure might be just what you need to reach the big O.