A 2016 study by researchers from Chapman University has uncovered what it takes for couples in long-term relationships to keep the passion alive.While the researchers found that as many as 57% of men in long-term relationships were unhappy with their sex lives, they discovered that 32% weren’t just happy but reported feeling just as passionate in their relationships as when they first fell in love.
Researchers realized that we can all learn something from the habits of the 32%.
The secrets of passion in long-term relationships uncovered. Researchers from Chapman University say that they have uncovered the secrets that successful couples know about how to keep the passion alive in their long-term relationships. If you are in a long-term committed relationship and your sex life has become dull, you wouldn’t be alone, say researchers, as 57% of the men they surveyed were unhappy with the quality/quantity of the sex they were having.
Some couples are able to maintain passion even after many years. The researchers discovered, however, that 32% of the people they surveyed not only reported being sexually satisfied and happy, they also said they felt the same levels of passion they did in the first 6 months of their relationships. Some of these people had been with the same person for over 10 years.
Couples in passion-filled relationships had 5 things in common. Researchers realized that there is perhaps a lot we could learn from the habits of these successful couples and dug deeper to uncover what they were doing right. They all had at least 5 things in common, they say.
They maintain their loving connection all day long. You may be surprised to discover that the key to continued sexual satisfaction over time, says Men’s Health Online, wasn’t “kinky positions or toys.” Couples who kept their passion for each other alive said that they worked to maintain feelings of love and happiness with their partners all day long.
Feeling loving equals feeling sexy. It only makes sense, says the Chapman University study’s author Dr. David Frederick, that couples would feel more inclined to “hop into bed” when they feel loving towards each other. Couples in the 32% showed affection all day long, researchers found, and not only when they wanted to have sex.
They touch, talk, and cuddle. It was all about being tactile with each other throughout the day, say researchers. They texted each other during the day and cuddled up while watching television, which made it easier for both parties to take the lead when it came to initiating lovemaking.
They talk about what they enjoy and what they want from sex. Couples in the 32% weren’t afraid to talk about sex, say the researchers. They were willing to be forthcoming with what they wanted in the bedroom, making requests for new positions or giving feedback on what didn’t work.
It’s about making requests. Researchers say that less than 40% of the men they surveyed said that they had made a request for something they wanted within the last month. But, say researchers, even if you have to take baby steps, there are big benefits to sharing what turned you on during lovemaking or what you would like to try.
Men who feel sexually satisfied focus on the woman’s orgasm. The men in couples who were able to maintain high levels of passion despite being together for a long time focus on the woman’s pleasure, say researchers. Whereas orgasm doesn’t appear to be linked to satisfaction in men, possibly because it is so much easier for them, when it comes to female sexual satisfaction, a woman needs to get off.
Men in the 32% understand female anatomy. According to the study’s findings, only 66% of the women they surveyed said that they have regular orgasms during sex with their partners. In couples who reported being sexually satisfied, the men had a good understanding of female anatomy and how to arouse their partners to ensure orgasm every single time.
Women who orgasm want to have sex more. Men in happy, loving and sexually satisfying relationships seem to know, say researchers, that if sex is more pleasurable for her, he can only reap the benefits. She is likely to want to have sex more often, and frequency, say the researchers, is one of the keys to sexual satisfaction for both members of a couple.
They are sexually adventurous. After you have made love to the same person thousands of times, say the researchers, variety becomes essential. Couples in the 32% were found to be sexually adventurous and engaged in everything from trying out new sex toys to experimenting with new positions and exploring X-rated adult films together.
They mix it up in the bedroom. They mixed it up in the bedroom, say the researchers. It might be time to research a range of new sex positions, dig into the world of sex toys for men, or discover the carnal pleasures of anal sex.
They set the scene. It didn’t end with switching it up, found the researchers; couples with a passion-filled relationship also “set the stage for sex.” They lit candles, they played soft music; in short, they created an atmosphere of romance for sex.
It may sound cliche but it works. “Creating an intimate setting … fosters romance,” says Dr. Frederick. Even though it may seem cliche, the fact that so few people do it could point to it being a big differentiator when it comes to being sexually satisfied in your long-term relationship!
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