McSibiss said that women should be very careful about guys who are way too charming but never let you meet his friends or go home with him. We’ve all met men who were too good to be true, but at times, we never really saw the red flags that were associated with it. The Reddit user said that this is often a sign that a guy is a player, or that he’s just looking for a quick fling. As he so eloquently put it, “It’s not his first tango, and not his last.”
PleasureOrgan explained that you should ask a date a question that doesn’t have a binary answer to see how he reasons things. He said that you want to take a look at how he comes to a conclusion - or what kind of values he holds. You may find out that he doesn’t quite think as logically as you’d want him to - and that can be a major deal breaker when you’re trying to get your point across.
UghWhyDude said that he once saw a very charming boyfriend of his roommate snap after a dog barked. He said, “Then what the guy did just floored me - he yelled, then straight up punched the dog, grabbed it by the collar and threw it to the floor with some amount of force. Dog cried in terror and ran off.” The user said that after that moment, he feared for his roommate’s safety and that he always keeps an eye on how people treat animals when on a date.
UghWhyDude also noted that you should get worried if he won’t introduce you to his parents. Basically, this is a catch-all signal that he’s not serious about the relationship and you. This is even more important outside of the U.S., where many men will marry a woman just to placate his parents despite having a girlfriend at the time.
ReverendDizzle said that women need to see how men view women. He warned that a big red flag should be “viewing women as if without agency.” In other words, if a guy talks about women as if they aren’t capable of thinking for themselves, you need to leave as soon as possible. This is a sign of a very abusive mentality, and controlling one, too.
Matrozi said something smart. This guy said, “If he insists that condoms feel bad and really wants to go bareback even if you're only dating for a few days/weeks or even just meeting for a hookup” that you need to run. It could be that he has an STD, or that he may be trying to put a baby in you. Either way, it’s not a good sign of maturity or safety.
Xanral said that a really bad indicator is when a guy “doesn’t respect their date’s decisions.” Whether it’s getting angry when she doesn’t sleep with him or feeling like he’s owed something for his good behavior, Xanral made it clear that guys who can’t respect their dates are not guys you want to see in the long-term.
GG86 was shocked at how often women ignore violent aggression that happens without extenuating circumstances. He said it’s really worrisome, and that a particularly dangerous sign is when a man is aggressive to the point that he seeks out “honor-based reasons to hurt people and justify it later.” He then said, “It’s not cute…it’s the sign of an unbalanced personality.”
PleasureOrgan said that you really do need to check to see who his friends are. If you don’t like his friends, you should be worried. People of the same kind tend to flock together for a reason, and in many cases, the reason is because they tend to have similar personalities and morals. If he’s surrounded by cheaters, you could be getting played, too.
Da_chicken suggested that chivalry should stay dead. His red flag was if a man orders your meal for you without asking your input at all. Why? Because it’s a sign that he doesn’t think women think for themselves, and that he’s not considerate of what you’d want to do. Think about it - shouldn’t you be the one to order your own meal?
Yes another guy said that you should watch for prison records. Specifically, he said that guys who go to jail once are more statistically likely to have problems with the law than men who don’t. In other words, you might want to avoid “bad boy” types who have a jail record unless you want to end up in the clink, too.
Several users also warned women to avoid men who have toxic relationships with other females in the past. History repeats itself for a reason. If he hates all his female relatives, his ex-girlfriends and other women, the problem probably isn’t the women in his life. It’s probably him and his misogynistic views.
Murdra311 said that you should be careful of guys who ALWAYS insist on paying. As he put it, a guy who always insists that he pays “is going to hold it over your head one way or another.” Think about how often you’ve heard of Nice Guys (TM) guilt tripping women, and you’ll definitely agree with his advice.
Bjos144 cautioned women against dating men who seem to have the world out to get them. A guy who makes a woman feel like “he needs her” is often a sign that he’s a victim of his own bad decisions. The user said that a guy like this “will drag you down with him.” Never date out of pity. Men aren’t lost puppies that need a bath and kibble!
Acidburnz_EU warned against guys who blow up phones. And we’re not talking about explosives. If a guy blows up your phone then goes radio silent. it’s often a sign that it could be a player or someone who’s trying to play mind games with you. Either way, it’s not a good relationship sign.
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