When Sex Is Painful

Sex should bring you a lot of things — pleasure, intimacy, and for some, it can even bring you closer to your partner. What it shouldn’t do however, is cause you pain.  Here, we take a look at why sex hurts sometimes, and what you should do about.

Pain. Sex shouldn’t hurt, but according to goodinbed.com, around 20 million American women suffer from painful sex. A lot of the don’t do anything about it either because they are ashamed, or because they are unaware that sex shouldn’t hurt.

Lubrication. The pain women feel during sex likely comes from not being lubricated enough, which can “result in tearing and irritation,” says author Emily Nagoski on goodinbed.com.

Vulva. The pain could also be caused by vulvodynia, which is a condition where women have chronic pain in the vulva. The pain felt is usually random, yet constant. According to nva.org, some women experience pain in certain specific areas.

Experience. Experts agree that typically, women experience the most amount of pain when it comes to sex, as opposed to men. While men can experience some discomfort, it is very rare that they do.

Hits. "There's some level of 'sucking up the pain' that women go through. Men may take physical hits on the sports field more often than women, but our data suggest that women take more hits in the bedroom than men,” says researcher Debby Herbenick, as reported by goodinbed.com.

Psychological. Shockingly, not too long ago, doctors believed that the pain women felt during sex was psychological. According to goodinbed.com, instead of trying to find the underlying issue, doctors would prescribe anti-depressants or numbing agents.

Arousal. It’s recommend that women use lube or take a little extra time to get aroused during foreplay in order to prevent painful sex. Dryness can come from allergy medications or even birth control pills, so keep that in mind when you are trying to find the root of the problem.

Condition. Endometriosis is another condition that could be affecting your sex life negatively. This is a condition where the uterus lining starts to grow in other parts, and women with extremely painful periods are usually the ones who suffer from it, according to WebMD.

Suffering. Postmenopausal women also suffer from dyspareunia, the medical term for painful sex. It can range from sharp pains in the labia, clitoris or vagina, to stinging or burning sensations in the same area.

Contraction. Vaginismus is another condition that contributes to painful sex. The vagina contracts involuntarily during sex, which makes for an extremely tight vagina. The woman usually experiences pain when there is an attempt to penetrate her.

Prevention. No woman should have to put up with pain during sex just because they feel ashamed or because they are afraid to tell their partners, and there are several things that women can do in order to prevent pain during sex.

Discomfort. "Young women often get the message that 'sex hurts,' so they go into sex expecting some discomfort or pain and not necessarily telling their partner or healthcare provider or even their best friends that sex hurts,” says Herbenick, as reported by goodinbed.com.

Positions. Certain positions can hurt women more than others, so it is best to try to figure out which ones work best for you. It might be more beneficial for a woman to be on top, at least in the beginning, so that she can gain control and try to figure out what feels comfortable for her.

Help. If dryness is your issue, you should consider trying a lube. However, doctors can prescribe estrogen creams and medications that could help. If you see blood, you should seek medical help.

Speak up. It is also important to speak up when experiencing pain. Don’t be afraid to make your partner stop if something doesn’t feel right. Sex should be pleasurable for the both of you. And guess what? Even if you've started, you can call off sex at ANY time. Don't forget it.